


The Assassin's Protégé

by CheeseToast99



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abandonment, Aftercare, Angst, Angst and Feels, Assassination, Assassination Attempt(s), Assassins & Hitmen, Awkward Dates, BDSM, Babysitting, Backstory, Big Brothers, Birthday Party, Bittersweet Ending, Blackmail, Blindfolds, Blood, Blood Kink, Blood and Violence, Bloodplay, Butlers, Canon-Typical Violence, Chains, Character Study, Child Abandonment, Children, Contracts, Control, Death, Deception, Disguise, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Manipulation, Emotions, Epilogue, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Issues, Family Secrets, First Love, First Time, Flashbacks, Flirting, Forbidden Love, Goodbyes, Gun Violence, Guns, Killing, Kinky, Lies, Loss of Virginity, Major Original Character(s), Male Antagonist, Manipulation, Master & Servant, Master/Pet, Master/Servant, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mother's Day, Neck Kissing, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Obsession, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Party, Pirates, Plans, Power Dynamics, Power Play, Pre-Canon, Protectiveness, Psychological Warfare, Restraints, Reunions, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sad Ending, Scheming, Scratching, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sibling Rivalry, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sneaking Around, Snipers, Storytelling, Strong Female Characters, Threats, Time Skips, Training, Vaginal Fingering, Violence, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27497503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheeseToast99/pseuds/CheeseToast99
Summary: Your father was a very important man, a politician in some country far away. He despised loose ends. Unfortunately, you were a loose end. Your mother was his favorite mistress up until the moment she became pregnant. Being born would create such a scandal and very possibly ruin his entire career. Your father aimed to become the president of that far away nation. With the election coming up he couldn't afford to leave you alive. No price was too high to pay to have you dead. If he wanted this done right… He had to hire the professionals. The Zoldyck Family were the most famous assassins in the world. They were mysterious, frightening, and extremely expensive.(Illumi is hired to kill you but the contract is interrupted by his father. Being impressed by your skill he recruits you as a servant for the Zoldyck Family. Over time you develop feelings for Illumi which creates a conflict of interest. On top of that one of the butlers turns out to be a troublemaker.)
Relationships: Illumi Zoldyck/Reader
Comments: 99
Kudos: 205





	1. The Target

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! I'm back at it again with another Hunter x Hunter character study. This one is going to explore Illumi's character and his weird family. My best friend loves Illumi so this story is dedicated to her. She always reads my work and I appreciate her support. I also appreciate the views, kudos, and comments on all my previous works. Thank you all so much! :) 
> 
> Let me know if you want to see another Illumi story or have any fic requests in mind.
> 
> Disclaimers: I do not own Hunter x Hunter or the characters. All rights are reserved to Yoshihiro Togashi.
> 
> There is violence, blood, murder, sexual content, bloodplay, and BDSM. If any of that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read it.
> 
> I want to clarify that this story begins 7 years before the start of the anime/manga. The story will gradually move towards the present as the chapters go on. Nothing romantic or sexual will take place between Illumi and the character you're reading as until they are both in their 20's. Also, Kazuo is an original character that I created and he will play a major role in the story. He does not exist within the anime/manga.

Several years had passed since you left Meteor City to take your chances on the streets. It didn't matter where you were. Nowhere was safe for you. Your very existence was problematic. Your father was a very important man, a politician in some country far away. He despised loose ends. Unfortunately, you were a loose end. Your mother was his favorite mistress up until the moment she became pregnant. Being born would create such a scandal and very possibly ruin his entire career. Your mother was ordered to have an abortion and then disappear. She was already paid in full. 

The problem was that she couldn't stand the thought of going through with it. The only other choice was to leave you somewhere you couldn't be found. She remembered the junkyard city where anything could be left there. The city accepted anything and everything but wouldn't allow anyone to take anything from them. Other countries abused the city throwing out anything unwanted. Millions of people populated the wasteland. Your mother faked getting the abortion and decided to go through with the birth. She left you in a cardboard box as you cried for her to come back. Soon after that she was confronted and killed.

The city’s Elders and citizens took care of you until you were old enough to walk and perceive the world around you. The sky was always thick with a haze and the stench of garbage was potent. It was home until you became a teenager. You roamed the streets stealing and intimidating others in order to survive. The world was very beautiful but also very cruel. Sometimes you missed the haze and the strong stench. There was so much more out there that was just out of your grasp. You had no reason to live but… Your desire to breathe grew with each day.

So far, only one assassin managed to find you and you killed him but not before forcing him to tell you about your mother and father. It was the very first time you killed someone. You understood he was just doing the job he was paid to do but you weren't ready to die. Your father aimed to become the president of that far away nation. With the election coming up he couldn't afford to leave you alive. No price was too high to pay to have you dead. If he wanted this done right… He had to hire the professionals. 

The Zoldyck Family were the most famous assassins in the world. They were mysterious, frightening, and extremely expensive. Very few people even knew what the members of the family looked like. A single picture of just one family member was worth millions. The assassin that stood before you in an alleyway was a boy around your age. At the time, you were sixteen and he was seventeen. He had short black hair and pupil-less eyes that were as black as his hair. He wore a simple jacket, long sleeve shirt, and jeans. It was what any normal teenage boy would wear but you knew he wasn't normal. 

He was the eldest child of the Zoldyck Family, Illumi. He was trained since birth to be an elite assassin. He blocked your way as you kept the hood of your hoodie up. Normally, Illumi would attack from behind but he needed to be sure he was killing the right person. He didn't make mistakes and he wasn't about to shame his family by starting now. He silently looked at your face confirming you were his target. You stared back silently waiting for him to make his move. 

“Any day now,” you egged him on.  
“You intend to fight me?”  
“I’m not ready to die, assassin.”  
“Whether you’re ready or not doesn't matter to me.” 

Illumi threw three needles all of which you avoided. You were surprisingly fast and nimble. You must have had sharp eyes to see his attacks and successfully avoid them. You rushed towards the boy to fight for your life. Illumi responded with a kick to your gut. The sheer power of the kick made you roll on the concrete gaining some distance from him. It was amusing to see you fight for your life so fiercely but it was time to finish the job. He approached you casually and you pulled a gun from underneath your shirt. You didn't want to resort to this but your life was in danger. You already killed a man once, this would make two. 

“You’re going to shoot me?” he asked almost mockingly.  
“If you come any closer… I will.”  
“That won’t work.” 

You stood your ground keeping the gun pointed at him. There was no change in his expression as he held a needle between two fingers. Now It was a question of what was faster, your bullet or his needle? Suddenly, Illumi’s phone began to ring and he put his finger up as if to tell you to wait. How arrogant… He expected you to wait for him. You could shoot him right now and be done with it! 

“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” he said as if he read your mind. 

You gritted your teeth and held your position as Illumi fished his phone out of his pocket and held it to his ear. His other hand still held a needle between two fingers. The caller was his father, Silva Zoldyck, who only ever called him for business. There was no hello small talk between them.

“Did you finish your contract?” Silva asked his son over the phone.  
“I was just about to,” Illumi said raising the hand he held the needle with which caused you to tightened the grip on your gun.  
“Your client is dead,” Silva informed him. “The contract is irrelevant now.”  
“Let me guess, you killed him?”  
“His competitor paid triple what he paid you to assassinate his daughter.”  
“This always happens…”  
“Yes, and there will be other jobs. There’s no point in killing her now, return home.” 

Illumi ended the call and put his phone away. He lowered his hand holding the needle but you still held him at gunpoint. You were tenacious and with a little training, you could even be useful.

“Your father is dead,” Illumi said bluntly.  
“…”  
“You’re lucky I don’t have to kill you now.”  
“…”

Illumi casually put his hands in his pockets and then turned. He began to walk out of the alleyway.

“Come with me.”  
“…W-Why would I do that?”  
“Do you have anything better to do?”

Illumi’s casual yet cold words had a lot of truth to them. You had no reason and no family. You didn't trust the boy but nothing could be worse than your current situation. You lowered your gun and followed the young assassin to wherever he was taking you. It was a long way to go and whenever you asked where you were going he told you to be quiet. He was blunt and kind of mean but he stayed with you the whole way until finally reaching Kukuroo Mountain. He briefly explained to you who his family was and that this was their estate. They actually owned the entire mountain!

“Why am I here..?” you asked hesitantly.  
“Because you have the potential to be useful.” 

Illumi instructed you to follow him again and brought you to his father. He was a large man with deep blue cat eyes and an intimidating air about him. He could snap you in half if he so chose to. If that wasn't intimidating enough the large monstrous hound at his side stared you down. Illumi explained that since he didn't have to kill you he thought you had just enough skill to become a servant for the family. Of course, you would require more training but the natural talent was there. It was unusual for Illumi to concern himself with such things. Silva figured you must have impressed him. So, this is what he dragged you here for. 

The large man asked you a series of questions which included your level of education, skills, and your willingness to die for the sake of the family. He was very straightforward about what being a Zoldyck servant would mean. It was physically and mentally demanding. It required years of training and dedication. To accept would be signing your life away but what else did you have? Was there anything else you aspired for? Any goals and dreams you had? No, there was nothing you could think of. The benefits of being a Zoldyck butler included food, shelter, education, employment, and anonymity. It was everything you didn't have. It was a chance for rebirth. 

You gave it a lot of thought and then you made your decision. You agreed to work on the Zoldyck estate and undergo the necessary training. Silva appointed Illumi as your supervisor since he brought you here in the first place. Illumi agreed to take that responsibility in addition to all his other responsibilities. Silva asked if you had any questions before your training to become a butler began. You had just one question but it had nothing to do with your training. 

“Master Silva, did my father say anything before you killed him?”  
“You don’t know any better so I’ll give you a warning,” he said sternly. “Don’t ever ask us about our targets or our clients. Your job is to serve the family. It is none of your business. The fact that he was your father does not matter.”  
“I’m sorry,” you lowered your head. “Please forgive me for asking.” 

Silva was a complicated man and despite being a cold hearted assassin he was capable of empathy. Seeing you inquire about your father and the solemn expression on your face awoke something parental in him. He wasn't fond of jobs that involved killing innocent people, particularly children. He was a father himself and he did have love for his children. The pain they endured was to prepare them for the life of an assassin. He could never imagine killing one of them. 

“He was a shameful man,” Silva strongly stated. “Don’t waste your breath on him.”  
“Yes sir,” you picked your head up and smiled softly at his response. 

Illumi observed the exchange with his usual blank expression. After that Silva dismissed you, and Illumi escorted you out. You paused and turned around for a moment. 

“Master Silva, I am happy.”  
“and why is that?”  
“Because... my life has meaning and purpose now. I am a person who should not exist, I wasn't supposed to.”  
“…”  
“So I feel as if I belong here. Thank you.” 

It took everything in his power to maintain his stoic and strong disposition. Seeing how grateful you were almost made him smile back. You gave a quick bow and left the room. Illumi stayed in place eyeing his father and noticed the chink in his icy armor. 

“Oh, you’re getting soft,” Illumi jokingly criticized his father.  
“As if you’re one to talk. I told you your contract was irrelevant, I didn't tell you to hire the target.”  
“It is rare for a target to fight back. They had value.”  
“Maybe you were just holding back,” Silva jokingly criticized his son. “She’s a cute girl in your age group, after all. I wouldn't be surprised if that influenced your decision.” 

Illumi gave his father a half-lidded expression that silently said, “don’t be ridiculous.” Silva laughed a hearty laugh feeling victorious for successfully annoying his son. There were times they exchanged brief harmless banter. Aside from that, their interactions were almost always related to the family business. Illumi respected his father a great deal but sometimes… He managed to get on his nerves. Just as his own father, Zeno, got on his nerves. Usually, it was both intentional and unintentional. 

Illumi left his father’s room and found you waiting for him in the hallway. He gave you a tour of the estate and you met most of the family members along the way. Eventually, he showed you to the butler’s quarters which was massive. He introduced you to the fellow butlers including Gotoh who struck you as a brooding and intelligent man. Gotoh took over for Illumi and finished the tour. You were sad to see him go but getting you familiar with the estate was just another task to complete. 

Gotoh explained your training in further detail and gave you your schedule. From now on, every moment of your life was training and learning, even in sleep. The butlers used weighed objects daily to enhance their strength. Even the standard butler suits were weighted and they weighed over a hundred pounds. When putting your suit on for the first time you fell down. You were stuck on your back like a turtle and unable to raise your arms. You begged Gotoh to help you and he just stared at you. 

“Don’t be so pathetic, you’re embarrassing the Zoldyck Family,” he scolded. “Get up!”  
“Help…”  
“You will stay there until you can get up on your own. If you can’t even stand on your own two feet you’ll be dead in a week, maybe even sooner.”  
“Gotoh!”  
“It is not my job to babysit you. It is master KIllua who needs my attention.” 

Gotoh walked away to go tend to Master Killua who he was in charge of. He was right and you knew it. You agreed to this job knowing full well what you were getting yourself into. You wanted to be here. You wanted to earn the right to be a Zoldyck butler, even if it killed you. It wouldn’t, you wouldn't allow it to kill you. Discovering new strength within yourself you rose off the ground. Steadying yourself you adjusted to the weighted suit and Gotoh caught sight of you in the corner of his eye. He threw a coin which you avoided and it caused you to fall backward again. 

You gritted your teeth and scowled at the butler. He smirked and pushed his glasses up before exiting. He did that on purpose! Still, Gotoh wouldn't stop you. No one would. You belonged here. Putting your palms on the floor again you rose to your feet for the second time. Your spirit was strong, even Gotoh knew that. Maybe that’s why he was trying to test you. If that was the case you passed his little test. For two years you endured these vigorous lessons. 

You learned how to read and write from your teacher at the estate. You learned to fight better from your instructor who was also ruthless. Finally, you learned Nen from Gotoh himself. Outside in a clear patch of grass on the estate, you stood across from Gotoh. The wind blew your hair back as you waited for your lesson to begin. 

“Do you really think you’re ready?” Gotoh asked condescendingly.  
“Yes.”  
“I doubt that.” 

You weren't exactly sure what he was going to teach you. Nen was a bit of a mystery to you. Gotoh covered his fist with Aura and then punched you in the stomach. It was the most painful thing you ever felt in your life. You doubled over in agony feeling as if your skin was ripping apart and some sort of liquid was escaping your body. You felt… Like you were going to die. 

“Survive this, and you will truly become useful to the Zoldyck family.”  
“Ngh…”  
“You said you were ready, didn't you?" Gotoh goaded you. "Was all that training for nothing? Did you waste the time of your instructors? Did Master Illumi make a mistake bringing you here? Was he wrong about you?” 

When Gotoh mentioned Illumi something snapped inside of you. He was the first person who gave you a chance to be more than just the girl who was left at Meteor City. You could not allow the opportunity he gave you to go to waste. You screamed in the way a warrior would as you tried to conquer this pain. Eventually, the pain disappeared and the warm liquid feeling stayed. You successfully opened your Aura nodes and Gotoh was almost impressed. You survived his second test. He was sure you would have died by now or even try to escape the estate. He admired your perseverance. 

With the nodes opened now, you could learn Nen. That was a whole new set of lessons that were even harder than the previous ones. This power required an understanding of the four major principles, Ten, Zetsu, Ren, and Hatsu. There were six types of Aura types and all of this information was on the written exam so you had to memorize it! Finally, the Water Divination test revealed what your Aura type was. Putting your hands on the sides of the glass the water overflowed and you panicked because of the mess. You ran to get the mop and avoid getting reprimanded. While mopping up the water, Gotoh informed you that you were an Enhancer. He also informed you that he was an Enhancer so at least you had that in common with him. Now, it was up to you to develop your Hatsu. 

As your supervisor, Illumi checked on your progress from time to time. He was the most active out of all the members of his family. He was constantly away on jobs and tried to mentor his little brother Killua. You saw very little of him during your training. Within just two years you grew immensely. Your progress was incredible and that was a testament to Illumi's perception. He was right about you. It just proved that he never makes a mistake.


	2. Eagle Eye

You came to learn that the training you endured was nothing compared to what the Zoldyck children endured. Their training was akin to torture and at first, it shocked you to see them being treated so harshly. It was necessary for them to become full fledged assassins. The most shocking part was that their training started from birth. According to Master Zeno, this was the way his father taught him, and his father before him. This training regimen had been used in the Zoldyck family for generations. Aside from that, they were treated quite well. Every child had one or two servants entirely dedicated to them.

The child who you tended to was the youngest one, Kalluto. Being the baby of the family meant he was especially precious. You couldn't help but notice the lady of the house, Kikyo, favored her youngest children the most. Illumi was loyal and considerate to his mother but not quite as attached as Milluki. It wouldn't be a stretch to say they were both mama’s boys. Unfortunately, they didn't receive half the attention that Killua and Kalluto did. Killua was beloved, far more than all of the others. He was the golden child. The future heir of the Zoldyck family. 

It baffled you to learn that Illumi was not the family heir. He took one job after another and carried himself with the presence of a lord. He tried to compete with his father and grandfather. He trained his body every day. Just at the age of nineteen he was far more experienced than some other assassins who were twice his age. He was the perfect assassin and the perfect son. Yet, it wasn't good enough. Instead, he tried to pass everything he knew onto Killua who was reluctant. 

Killua was the most rebellious child of the family. From time to time he had a violent temper tantrum. This only fueled Kikyo’s affection for the boy. Gotoh had to keep a close eye on Master Killua. It was no easy task and so it required the family's best. That really was a job for Gotoh. You admired the way Gotoh carried himself with dignity and diligence. You aspired to do the same. He treated Killua as if he was his own son. There was also a fifth son, Alluka, but the situation with that child was complicated. You were grateful to not be one of Alluka’s attendants. Those servants and their loved ones mysteriously died a cruel death. You were a little fuzzy on the details but you didn't ask any questions. That was none of your concern. 

Kalluto wasn't a fussy child. The hardest part was usually separating him from Kikyo when she was needed elsewhere. Kalluto would often hold onto her dress with a tight grip. Even after successfully separating them Kalluto would run after Kikyo with great speed for a little kid. Kikyo would get emotional and scoop the child up into her arms making you have to repeat the process all over again… But aside from that Kalluto was quiet and well behaved. He didn't cry and if he needed something he would gently tug on your pant. 

Kalluto’s favorite activity was arts and crafts which you enjoyed doing with him. Sitting on the floor in the Zoldyck family room you and Kalluto cut patterns into the folded paper. You informed the child these were called snowflakes. It was a peaceful pastime for the most part. Sometimes… Kalluto decided to get creative and add some color. 

“Hand.”  
“Of course, Master Kalluto.” 

You held out your hand and the little boy drew a line across your open palm with the scissors. It was deeper than it should have been but you didn't wince. Your training prepared you for this, but most importantly you didn't want to discourage Kalluto. You held your hand still as it accumulated a small pool of blood. Kalluto dipped their small finger into your blood and created a design. When Kalluto was finished he proudly held up the snowflake decorated with your blood. 

“That’s very good,” you praised him.  
“For you.”  
“Thank you, Master Kalluto. I’ll keep it forever.” 

Kalluto meant well and it did warm your heart to see him so proud of his work. The pain was a small price to pay for Kalluto’s happiness. Suddenly, you sensed another person enter the family room. You didn't hear them enter but… For a family of assassins that was common. Turning your head you saw it was Illumi. 

“Hello Master Illumi, look at what Master Kalluto made. Isn’t it wonderful?” 

Kalluto continued to hold up the bloodstained snowflake to show Illumi. He apathetically glanced at the art piece and then glanced at your hand. There was no change in his expression as he made a note of the gash.

“You’re bleeding.”  
“Yes, I am. That was the ‘paint’ Master Kalluto used.”  
“Go get a bandage before you bleed all over the carpet. Blood leaves stains and mother will be displeased.”  
“I can not leave Master Kalluto unattended. This wound is nothing to be concerned with.”  
“I gave you an order.”  
“Yes sir.” 

You got up and bowed briefly before going to tend to the wound Kalluto made. It really wasn’t anything serious. You wondered if Illumi’s only concern was the carpet. Lady Kikyo did throw a fit over certain things… Besides, it was foolish to think your well-being was any concern to him or the rest of the family. It was your job to tend to them, not the other way around. After wrapping your hand you returned to the family room to find Illumi entertaining his little brother. Hiding behind the corner for a moment you saw him fold a piece of paper several times and then present it to Kalluto. It was an origami swan that he produced so effortlessly. 

Kalluto held the swan in awe and then set it aside. He grabbed a piece of paper trying to replicate what his brother made. Illumi sensed your Aura and glanced in your direction. 

“Is there a reason you’re hiding,” Illumi called you out.  
“Ah! Master Illumi!” you shouted practically jumping out of your skin. “Don’t let me interrupt your quality time.”  
“I was doing your job,” he said coldly while getting up. “You can resume your duties now.”  
“You should stay. I think Master Kalluto enjoys your company.” 

Kalluto looked at their brother wide eyed and held up a paper swan they quickly made for him. It was almost identical to the one he made. Illumi took Kalluto’s paper swan and inspected it. 

“This is flawed.”  
“Then show him how to do it right,” you suggested. 

Illumi glared at you and you smiled nervously hoping you didn't strike a nerve. He sighed and sat back down to teach his brother the art of origami. Illumi was difficult to understand but from what you could grasp he loved his siblings. Just like his father, he tried to portray power and authority but he was more soft hearted than let on. Illumi and his father were more alike than he would like to admit. It didn't take long for you to become quite fond of this family. They were eccentric to put it lightly… But there was also something endearing about them. Sadly, many people wished to do them harm. 

Bounty hunters and treasure hunters sought to kill the family to gain their wealth. This is what your instructors were training you for. You had to be prepared to protect the family even if they could protect themselves. One night a mist completely shrouded Kukuroo Mountain and the Zoldyck estate. It was a side effect of living within a dormant volcano. The moist warm air meeting the cool mountain top created a thick layer of fog. 

This created the perfect opportunity for trespassers to attempt an assault on the estate. It was foolish regardless of the weather but this was their best chance. A smart thief would wait for the perfect moment to strike. Sure enough, a hoard of pirates stormed the mountain. They were The Black Bandanna Buccaneers and as the name suggested each member wore a black bandanna. They were notorious for traveling from one island to another pillaging the towns. The entire crew all had high bounties and they were as cruel as they come. You had no doubt they aimed to kill the family and overtake the estate.

Gotoh gathered the butlers and informed them of the situation. He told them to protect the family no matter the cost. As well trained as Gotoh was you knew even he was at a disadvantage in this fog. However, this was the perfect environment for you. 

“Gotoh, let me,” you insisted.  
“Hmph. Do you really think you can handle this yourself?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then go. Don’t waste any more time.” 

You nodded and put on your holster which carried two guns on each hip. Another butler handed you a sniper that was missing the scope. Exiting the butler’s quarters you found a tall tree and jumped onto a sturdy branch. As the water divination test revealed you were an Enhancer and your true weapon was your eyes. Your Nen Ability was called Eagle Eye. It was a simple ability that granted you enhanced vision. It made you an expert marksmanship, always hitting your target without a mistake. It also gave you the ability to see in multiple directions at once and the ability to see with little or no light. This was your moment shine. No one would get past you. 

Seventy two men were traveling in groups of six. Twelve groups in total were going in different directions. You could see them all very clearly. The Captain was among them although you couldn't tell which one was him. Either way, they would all be dead soon. You stayed in your tree shooting from the distance. In just a few moments an entire squad was killed. They were dead before they even had a moment to process what happened. One after another they dropped like flies until just one squad remained. This squad made it the furthest into the estate thanks to the thick blanket of fog. 

Seemingly appearing out of nowhere you dropped directly into the center squad. The look on their faces was surprise and fear. Without even looking you shot each crewmate right between their eyes until there was just one left. He was a young man with shoulder length dirty blonde hair, green eyes, and a black bandana. He was older than you but not much older. He put his hands up in fear of you. 

“Please, I didn't want to… They made me!”  
“Who?”  
“Our Captain— He said he would kill me if I didn't do it. He would have fed me alive to the sharks but not before torturing me first.”  
“…”  
“You don’t understand how ruthless they are.”  
“…”  
“I understand you’re just doing your job… But I didn't ask to live like this… I’m not ready to die yet!”  
“Whether you’re ready or not doesn't matter to me.”

You repeated Illumi’s words with the same coldness he spoke with. You pointed the gun at the young man’s head as he teared up. He put his hands together and chanted some sort of prayer. For some odd reason… You couldn't pull the trigger. It was easier to kill the others but something about this felt familiar. It was too familiar. You let out a sigh and lowered the gun. 

“This is not my decision to make… The family will decide your fate.”  
“Well, that was disappointing…” a cold and familiar voice said. 

You whipped your head around to see Illumi standing directly behind you. The fog just added to the pre-existing mysterious air about him.

“Master Illumi.”  
“Why didn't you shoot?” he asked you.  
“I— Um— If you ordered it I would do so without hesitation.” 

You raised the gun again and the young man put his hands up again. He waved them around with panic in his voice.

“Gyah! No!” he shouted.  
“I shouldn't have to order it,” Illumi said coldly. “That is your job.”  
“I’m sorry, sir. I’ll correct my mistake right away.”  
“Wait!” he screamed. “WAIT!”  
“Hold on,” Illumi put his hand up. “There’s no rush. You already wasted plenty of time as it is.” 

Illumi approached the young man and leaned in intimidatingly. You could just see the man swallow his saliva as Illumi silently eyed him.

“You say you want to live. How badly do you want to live?”  
“Very badly!”  
“Bad enough to live a life of servitude?”  
“Y-yes!”  
“Beg.” 

Illumi punched the young man in the gut bringing him to his knees. He then kicked him in the chin making his head fall back. It was a miracle his neck didn't break. 

“I told you to beg.” 

You watched the Illumi beat the young man. If you didn't know any better you would say he was enjoying this, not that you could tell based on his expression. He could be quite sadistic… Although, he didn't put you through that sort of humiliation. Perhaps it was punishment for attempting to attack the estate and slaughter his family. You committed no such crime. Illumi loved his family so threatening them was a great offense. 

When he was finished the young man laid on the ground bloodied and broken but alive. Illumi approached you and your body stiffened. You were afraid you would receive punishment now for hesitating. It was a mistake you would never make again. You lowered your head preparing to receive any punishment Illumi thought was appropriate. 

“You’ll teach him.”  
“Me?” you raised your head. “But Master Illumi, I’m just an apprentice butler. I do not have the authority—”  
“You do now.”  
“I—I— But I have only served the family for two years! I am unfit to mentor another.”  
“Are you questioning my decision?”  
“No sir.”  
“You’re not an apprentice anymore. Get to work.”  
“Yes sir!” you bowed deeply to him. “Thank you for your kindness!” 

Illumi walked away while you were left in disbelief. You didn't expect to be promoted so quickly. You thought it would have taken at least ten years for you to become a fully certified butler. You were his favorite after all… And it showed. Now, you had a new set of responsibilities. You would be responsible for transforming this pirate into a butler worthy of serving the Zoldyck family.


	3. The Pirate Kazuo

Kazuo was the name of the young pirate who Illumi brutally beat into submission. He told you his name after having his wounds treated in the butler's quarters. You almost took pity on him for what your supervisor did to his face. Kazuo had handsome facial features and a natural boyish charm. He was also tall and slender. The young man was seated in a chair wrapped in bandages as you told him what his training would entail. You attempted to do your best Gotoh impression, being as stern and stoic as possible. 

“You did a foolish thing but you should thank Master Illumi for letting you live. The Zoldyck family is quite ben-evo-lent.”  
“What does that mean?” Kazuo asked you.  
“Um— It means… Like generous and kind. I just learned it.” 

Gotoh glanced at you from the second floor of the butler quarters. His gaze was heavy and you could tell he was unimpressed. Maybe now wasn't the best time to try out new words. You wanted to sound educated but instead, you ended up sounding childish.

“Anyway… From now on your entire life will be dedicated to serving the Zoldyck family. Your training will begin tomorrow. You will receive a schedule and a lesson plan. You’ll be tested both mentally and physically. I hope you can handle it.”  
“Didn’t I just take a beating?”  
“That was nothing compared to what your training will be! You will give your heart, body, and soul to the Zoldyck family or you will die!” 

You looked up at Gotoh for approval and he continued to look down with his icy glare. He was still unimpressed! Man, tough crowd. 

Kazuo seemed to get the idea and unlike you, he didn't have a choice. This was his punishment for trespassing. Kazuo began as an apprentice butler and started his training and education. He wore his hair in a ponytail tied with a black ribbon now. It was a little exciting for you to pass on everything you learned to someone else. Kazuo told you he was a Hunter, specifically a treasure Hunter, so you didn't need to teach him Nen. 

That was one less thing he had to learn but it was strange that he didn't use his Nen ability to fight back when his life was in danger. Maybe it was something that wasn't meant for combat. He never told you what his Nen ability or Aura type was. You figured didn't matter as long as he could be useful to the Zoldyck family. 

With Kazuo under your wing, you were twice as busy. You still had to tend to Kalluto while simultaneously teaching Kazuo. There was no room for you to complain because soon Gotoh had his own apprentice butler to look after. Canary was her name and she was just a little girl. Even if she was little, she was fierce. 

Two years later there was another attack on the Zoldyck family estate and Canary took care of it single handily. This time it was one hundred men and a Blacklist Hunter. The Hunter Seaquant begged for his life which resulted in him also being spared and recruited. Seaquant became the groundskeeper for the family. After that, you tried to talk to her about her admirable display of power. 

“That was impressive,” you complimented the young girl.  
“Naturally.”  
“You know, I did that too. Kazuo and his men stormed the estate and I took them out all by myself.”  
“…”  
“At night.”  
“…”  
“In the fog. A really thick fog.”  
“…”  
“Right Kazuo?”  
“Yes, that did happen,” Kazuo verified your story.  
“You’re my superior aren't you?” Canary coldly said. “Is there a reason you’re trying to impress me?”  
“Hmph.” 

Well, she was another tough nut to crack. Everyone here was so abrasive except Kazuo. For a former pirate, you expected him to be rude but he was easy to talk to for the most part. You had to keep a certain authority with him but he was a hit with the other butlers, particularly the female ones. Most of them were captivated by his charming good looks and soft voice. Most… But not all. 

“Amane, you look lovely today.”  
“I will not hesitate to hurt you,” Amane coldly responded.  
“Someone doesn't know how to take a compliment…”  
“What do we have here?” an old woman’s voice croaked. 

A large hulking woman towered over Kazuo and he slowly turned around. Tsubone was the most intimidating butler among the Zoldyck servants. She even intimidated Gotoh! And if she intimidated him she had to be a force to be reckoned with. Surprisingly, Kazuo didn't falter, he simply smiled at her.

“Tsubone, you’re Amane’s sister, right? You look almost identical.”  
“Well now, aren't you a dear,” Tsubone smiled. “There’s a word for men like you, boy. Do I need to say it?”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kazuo smiled.  
“Uh-huh. You just keep your eyes on your studies, deary.”  
“Yes ma’am.” 

Something was different about Kazuo compared to two years ago. During your first encounter, he was sniveling like a child. He was pathetic. Now, he had this air of confidence that came out of nowhere.

“You’re going to get yourself killed, also you’re wasting your time,” you informed him. “We’re not allowed to have lovers. It is punishable by death.”  
“That’s a little harsh don’t you think?”  
“I don’t make the rules. Take it up with the Zoldyck family if you dare.”  
“So, you’ve never had a lover?”  
“T-That is none of your concern,” you stammered.  
“That’s a shame… There’s nothing quite like making passionate love with someone for hours…”  
“K-Kazuo, you can’t say things like that!”  
“Why not?”  
“Because… Because you can’t!” 

You turned beet red at what Kazuo said and then… A particular person came to mind. Why were you thinking of Master Illumi now!? He did get significantly more handsome over the years. His hair got longer and you liked it that way. He also became bolder with his fashion choices exchanging his boring long sleeve shirts and pants for more outlandish attire. Sometimes his clothes showed off his toned arms or chest. He was a man now. The boy you first met years ago no longer existed. Even you matured over time. The teenager you were was long gone. 

Sometimes… Your gaze lingered on him for a little too long. Sometimes you were too eager to come when he called for you. Perhaps you harbored some feelings for him but—that just wasn't allowed. Butlers were forbidden from having any feelings for their masters, romantically or otherwise. If having a lover was punishable by death who knows what would happen if you indulged your fantasy. No, that simply could never happen. 

“You’re thinking of someone…”  
“I’m not.”  
“Is it me?”  
“Don’t push your luck, Kazuo.”  
“Haha… Alright… You don’t have to tell me.”  
“You have work to do,” you sternly said. “You should go do it, now.”  
“Yes ma’am.” 

That Kazuo was really unpredictable and that made you a little nervous. If he turned out to be a troublemaker it would be your job to reprimand him, and Illumi’s job to reprimand you. During his two years of training, he was gracious, and slowly you gave him more and more responsibility. Most recently, you put him in charge of serving Lady Kikyo’s afternoon tea while you tended to Kalluto. It was easier to separate them with Kazuo’s help. Kalluto was older now but still very attached to his mother. He still hung onto her dress with an iron grip. It was harder now to grab Kalluto since the young assassin was skilled enough to evade you.

Meanwhile, Kazuo escorted Lady Kikyo to the garden where she liked to have her tea. There was a table with a yellow table cloth, a white doily, and a three tier dessert tray with little cakes and other morsels. Two chairs sat on either side of the little table. Kazuo pulled out a chair for her and she sat down fanning herself as she impatiently waited for her tea. Kazuo brought the silver tea set and poured Kikyo her afternoon tea. He presented it to her with a smile and the woman coldly took the teacup. She sipped it slowly and then put it down in disgust. 

“This is too bitter!”  
“Shall I remake it for you?” Kazuo considerably asked.  
“No, you already ruined my afternoon tea!”  
“Perhaps adding some sugar will lighten the flavor?”  
“I know how to drink tea, you moron.”  
“Yes, that’s true, apologizes for saying something so stupid.” 

Kazuo stood to the side of the table maintaining his smile and keeping his hands clasped behind his back. It was true, Kikyo was the cruelest member of the Zoldyck family, next to Milluki and Illumi. Despite hailing from Meteor City herself she treated many of the servants with disrespect and even viewed them as disposable. She did have a soft spot for Gotoh but only because they had a common interest. They both greatly valued Killua and hoped he would become a fearsome assassin. 

“Madame Kikyo, may I say something?” Kazuo asked.  
“Make it quick.”  
“Master Killua is exceptional.” 

Kikyo quickly changed her tune and put her hands together in excitement. He couldn't see her eyes due to her electronic visor but her enthusiasm came through anyway.

“Isn’t he!? My little Kil… So full of promise!”  
“It must be because he takes after you the most.”  
“You think so?!”  
“I do,” Kazuo nodded.  
“I always thought he was more like his father! You know, everyone says he takes after Silva.”  
“Yes well, I’ll leave you be now—”  
“Sit,” Kikyo ordered. “We aren't finished with our conversation.”  
“Yes ma’am.” 

Kazuo took the seat across from Kikyo in the garden. Kazuo folded his hands together in a gentleman fashion giving the lady of the house his undivided attention. 

“It makes me so happy to see him develop into such a skilled assassin! He’s going to be the next family heir. He’ll bring such greatness to the Zoldyck family.”  
“You mean the family heir isn't Master Illumi?”  
“Of course not,” Kikyo sipped her tea. “Illumi wasn't born with the gifts my Killua was born with.”  
“I see,” Kazuo said intrigued. “I was under the wrong impression then…”  
“Only my Killua is capable of being the family heir. He has such a bright future.”  
“Lady Kikyo, forgive me for asking such a rude question but you have five children, yes? I have only ever seen four.”  
“We don’t speak of that other one.”  
“Is there a reason for that?”  
“I don’t want to talk about something so upsetting! Do not bring it up again… Or else.”  
“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry, we can talk about Killua some more. Perhaps you have some favorite childhood memories with him?”  
“Oh yes! It seems like just yesterday he made his first kill… Oh! This one time—“ 

Kazuo endured Lady Kikyo’s crazed ramblings over her beloved son Killua. He poured a cup of tea for himself as she carried on about the boy. It wasn't all useless. Kazuo learned many things about the family this way. Though, he was still curious about that mystery child. It seemed no one wanted to talk about it, not even you. While passing by Gotoh caught sight of Kazuo and Kikyo in the garden having tea. This looked much too friendly and that was concerning to him. He began to wonder just what did the Zoldyck family welcome into their home.

“Is there anything I can do for you Madame Kikyo?”  
“Gotoh, you interrupted the best part! I was telling Kazuo about the first time Killua threatened to kill me!”  
“My apologies.” 

Gotoh bowed sincerely to Kikyo and glanced at Kazuo who wore a smile. Seeing him smile so smugly infuriated him.

“Yes, it was a wonderful story. Madame Kikyo tells the best stories.”  
“Indeed…” 

Gotoh had to restrain himself from grabbing the young man by the collar and throwing him across the garden. He would never act so shamefully in front of Lady Kikyo. He was usually able to keep his temper under control but this young man was truly testing his patience. 

“Where is Killua,” Kikyo asked.  
“He is currently on a job, Ma’am.”  
“He left without saying goodbye!? Oh Kil… So cruel… Well, I want to know the moment he returns!”  
“Of course, Madame Kikyo.” 

He bowed again and eyed Kazuo for the second time. Kazuo silently tipped his teacup to him and sipped it. Gotoh walked away feeling uneasy about the situation. If Lady Kikyo grew attached to Kazuo and he was removed she would surely throw a fit over it. Perhaps Kazuo knew that and purposely chose to woo her to gain immunity. Tsubone did suggest he was a ladies man after all. He didn't exactly have proof that Kazuo was up to no good. For now, he would have to keep a close eye on him. 

A few days later, Killua returned from his assassination job. He wasn't exactly proud of his work but he did what he was told. Killua tried to avoid seeing his mother and instead walked around the estate. He found Kazuo alone sitting on a rock and looking up at the sky. Killua approached Kazuo having never gotten the chance to speak to him before. 

"So, you’re a real pirate?” Killua abruptly asked.  
“Oh… Master Killua. It’s you.”  
“So, are you?”  
“Well, I was.”  
“What was that like?”  
“Hmm? You want to know?”  
“Would I ask you if I didn't want to know?”  
“Fair enough… Ah, let's see…"

Kazuo went silent for a few moments and thought about his past fondly. He tried to think of a story to share with him.

"I do have some stories… but I don't know if they’re exactly kid friendly.”  
“Don’t treat me like a little kid!”  
“Heh, alright then. Well, first, I'll tell you that there's nothing quite like waking up under the blue sky surrounded by the ocean. Every day is a new adventure and nothing is off limits. Absolute freedom.”  
“Absolute freedom?” Killua repeated.  
“That’s right. My philosophy is that if you want something, taking it is the best way to make it yours.”  
“Master Killua,” Gotoh called out interrupting the conversation. “Your mother would like to see you.”  
“Aw man,” Killua complained. “I was trying to avoid her...”  
“Don’t ignore your mother,” Gotoh scolded him. “She was awaiting your return with great anticipation.”  
“Yeah, I know…”  
“Don’t worry Master Killua,” Kazuo smiled. “We’ll talk more later.”  
“Will you tell me an actual story this time?” Killua asked Kazuo.  
“Of course.”  
“Okay.” 

Killua ran off to see his mother while Gotoh slowly approached Kazuo. The former pirate didn't move a muscle nor did his facial expression change. He certainly didn't cry out in fear like he did two years ago. 

“Don’t you dare fill Master Killua’s head with that nonsense,” Gotoh rebuked him.  
“Hmm? I was just indulging the curiosity of a child.”  
“You do not want to make an enemy of me, Captain.”  
“Captain?” Kazuo slightly smiled. “You must have me confused with someone else.”  
“I’m waiting for you to drop the act,” Gotoh sharply retorted. “You arrogant brat, you think you can fool the Zoldyck family? I hate those who use cheap tricks to get what they want.”  
“Gotoh, are you feeling alright? Your mind seems to playing tricks on you. Your paranoia is getting worse…”  
“Don’t ever come near Master Killua again. Do you understand?”  
“I don’t think that is within your power.”  
“He is entrusted to me. I’ll be damned if some low class sea thief slithers his way into the Zoldyck estate and corrupts young Master Killua’s mind!”  
“Are you done?” 

Once again Gotoh wanted to unleash his rage but that would only reflect poorly on him. He was better than that. He knew before confronting the family about this annoyance he would need proof of any wrongdoing. At the same time, he did not want to wait for Kazuo to do something that could put the family in danger. Gotoh had to bring this to your attention and warn you about your pupil.


	4. Mother's Day Part 1

Gotoh came to you explaining what he witnessed and that stressed that he had a bad feeling about Kazuo. You knew how skeptical the Butler was especially towards those who were new. You had to take what he said with a grain of salt.

“So… He deserves to be punished because he was talking to Master Killua?” you asked a little confused.  
“No. He deserves to be punished because he is purposely tainting the young master’s mind.”  
“Gotoh, don’t you think that’s a little—”  
“It’s not just him,” he cut you off sharply. “I caught him doing the same to Madame Kikyo. How dare he attempt to woo the Lady of the house. Despicable.”  
“Um…”  
“You don’t believe me?” he asked a little annoyed.  
“N-No! It’s not that… Don’t you think you’re just a tad bit paranoid?”  
“I am not paranoid,” Gotoh sternly corrected you. “I am cautious.”  
“Well, that’s just Kazuo’s personality,” you defended him. “He’s not perfect but he’s trying his best. Yes, he makes mistakes but he means well.”  
“Your optimism will be the death of you.”  
“Sorry, not everyone can be a pessimist like you,” you retorted.  
“Disgraceful behavior will not be tolerated.”  
“As far as I’m concerned, Kazuo hasn't made any violations but I’ll talk to him about his casual behavior.”  
“I’ll go above you if I must,” he warned you. “I’ll bring it to Master Illumi’s attention myself.”  
“Don’t.”  
“You weren't ready to mentor another person.”  
“I worked hard to get where I am,” you said taking offense to his previous statement.  
“That doesn't mean you were ready for this responsibility. If it was up to me that boy would learn his place.”  
“You’ve never liked me, Gotoh. You don’t like anyone.”  
“That is false.” 

A few moments of silence passed between you two. You didn't expect him to be so defensive about it. You were certain he didn't like you but you were wrong. 

“At first, I thought you were weak,” Gotoh explained pushing his glasses up “I had no time for a weakling but you proved me otherwise. You have won my respect and the respect of the other Zoldyck butlers.”  
“…”  
“But that doesn't change the fact that you are much too lenient. Don’t risk your own career for an ill-mannered rat.”  
“I’ll handle it my way,” you sternly responded. “Master Illumi gave me this responsibility. It’s mine, not yours.” 

You could tell Gotoh was dissatisfied but he accepted your answer. While you didn't know very much about Kazuo he was a hard worker. He said some outrageous things from time to time but it was harmless. You thought it would be unfair to punish him for minor things. Instead, you scolded Kazuo about his behavior. You told him that if he wished to resume his responsibilities he would have to watch what he says from now on. You warned him to never talk about his past. 

You also mentioned how it was inappropriate to act so casually with the Zoldyck family, particularly Lady Kikyo. Kazuo got the message and promised to work on it. He also thanked you for being so patient and understanding with him. It seemed sincere to you. He may have been older than you but you were more experienced than him as a butler. He looked up to you. You took pride in the fact that one day he might be a well trained butler. Little by little Kazuo would improve. You had faith that he would. 

A few days later Illumi summoned both of you to his room. It seemed so serious. You were afraid Gotoh went over your head and went straight to Illumi. He said he would. This was it, you thought. You and Kazuo were both dead! You entered Illumi’s room first with Kazuo right behind you. His room was not cluttered like Milluki’s or dark and ominous like Silva’s. The room was a traditional Japanese-style room. It was well lit and spacious with only a few pieces of furniture including the bed. Aside from that, the room was practically empty. He didn't use his room very often but it was free of any dust.

Illumi sat cross legged on the tatami flooring with his arms crossed. When you shut the sliding door you stood in front of him with Kazuo at your side. 

“Do you know why I summoned you?”  
“Um… I… Can explain,” you said nervously.  
“Explain what?”  
“Whatever it is that needs explaining…”  
“What month are we in?” Illumi asked you.  
“May, Sir.”  
“And do you know what day it is?”  
“Friday, Master Illumi.”  
“And what’s Sunday?”

You and Kazuo looked at each other a little confused by all these questions. Illumi finally rose to his feet and put a hand on his hip.

“The second Sunday in May is a special day for the Zoldyck family.”  
“Oh! It’s Mother’s Day!” you shouted.  
“It took you long enough…”  
“Is that what you needed us for, Master Illumi?”  
“Mother doesn't know her birthday. A long time ago we would treat this day as her birthday. For the past few years on this day, she had been away on trips and preoccupied with other things. Currently, Mother has no business trips planned.” 

It turns out Gotoh didn't go above your head after all… Thank goodness. You exhaled in relief but you sucked in your breath again when Illumi looked directly at you. 

“You are in charge of coordinating the celebration.”  
“Me?” you pointed to yourself surprised.  
“Rely on Kazuo for assistance. This will be a surprise. No one else among the Zoldyck servant staff is allowed to know about this until the day of the celebration. I won’t risk anyone accidentally spoiling the surprise for Mother.”  
“Master Illumi, if I could just get a pen and write this down—”  
“All of the Zoldyck children are required to attend. There are no negations about it. Each child will present a gift to Mother. Formal wear is required.”  
“Wait—”  
“The party will occur in the garden. The tulips will be white and pink. The decorations will be pink as well. The cake will be three tiers. Chocolate is preferred. You will hire a gourmet Hunter for this.”  
“Uhhh…”  
“Got it?”  
“Um— Do you think you can repeat the part about the tulips?”

Illumi gave you a cold stare at you and you smiled nervously. His attention switched from you to Kazuo when he purposely coughed.

“Actually, your mother prefers roses over tulips,” Kazuo said to Illumi.  
“…”  
“And her favorite color is purple, not pink. Although, she is fond of pink.”  
“…”  
“I guess it’s only natural you don’t know since you don’t spend much time together.” 

Your heart nearly stopped as you waited for a reaction from Illumi. He maintained eyed contact with Kazuo while you began sweating profusely. 

“K-Kazuo, that’s enough,” you warned him. “Remember what we talked about?”  
“I’m only trying to be helpful. We wouldn't want Madame Kikyo’s special day to be ruined by minor details.”  
“Everything must be perfect,” Illumi finally spoke. “Do what you must to achieve that.”  
“Yes, master Illumi.” 

Kazuo smiled and bowed gently to him and you did the same. Illumi dismissed you both and you were glad that didn't turn ugly. When you left his room you pulled Kazuo to the side. 

“I told you to watch what you say,” you scolded him.  
“I told you I was trying to be helpful, besides, Master Illumi didn't seem to mind.”  
“Don’t test his patience,” you warned Kazuo. “You’ll regret it. I’ll punish you myself if I have to.”  
“You sure are protective over him…”  
“That’s my job, Kazuo. That is also your job.”  
“True.”  
“Now, we have a lot to do. This celebration for Madame Kikyo has to be flawless. I’ll handle the main arrangements, I just need your assistance with certain things.”  
“You’re very eager to impress him.”  
“I’m not trying to impress anyone. This is important to Master Illumi.”  
“Just don’t expect a reward when you’re done,” he teased you.  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Nothing,” Kazuo smiled. “It was just a joke.”

You formed a scowl as Kazuo maintained his innocent smile. You sighed and let it slide this time. You had far too much to do on such short notice. You had less than three days to pull this surprise party together. You did resent Illumi a little bit for the time constraints. He could have told you sooner… Or maybe this was a test. Perhaps it was to see if you could pull it off. You tried to convince yourself that Kazuo was wrong but there was some truth to it… You did want to do a good job. You wanted to please Illumi and now was your chance to do so. 

That same day you contacted the florist and found a gourmet Hunter. The hunter would be escorted to the estate by you. There were certain protocols they had to undergo before being allowed through. If they were suspicious in any way you would kill them without hesitation. You explained over the phone to the Gourmet hunter what you required for the cake. There was also food for the guests to consider. Aside from the children the guest list was quite short, it was limited to just Silva, his father and mother, and Maha who you rarely ever saw. You would handle the guests while Kazuo informed the children about the party. 

Of course, Silva would attend. Despite the family’s strange and distant dynamic, they were a loving couple. You admired that about them. Silva mentioned briefly that when Illumi and Milluki were younger they used to do a celebration like this on that day. It was sweet that after all this time Illumi remembered Mother’s Day. He really was a caring son. That was one guest down and next was Master Zeno. You explained the celebration and its purpose. Zeno seemed to show little interest in the event and tried to escape the conversation.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s something I want to attend…”  
“But you are an important member of the Zoldyck family. Your attendance would be greatly appreciated.”  
“Did my son put you up to this?”  
“No sir, Master Illumi put me in charge of planning the party. I thought it would be nice for you to join us.”  
“Yes well, that was very thoughtful of you but I will politely decline.”  
“Is there a particular reason? If you don’t mind me asking, Master Zeno.”  
“You’re a curious one.”  
“I’m sorry, sir. I shouldn’t be so noisy.” 

You knew you shouldn't ask so many questions but you couldn't help it. Instead of chastising you Zeno decided to indulge your question and looked in both directions to make sure his son wasn't around. He then gestured you to come closer and you leaned down to accommodate the older man’s height.

“Between you and me,” Zeno whispered. “I’ve never been a big fan of the Mrs.”  
“I see…” you whispered back.

Zeno pulled back and you stood up straight again. That did make sense… He seemed to disagree with many of Madame Kikyo's ideals, including her treatment of Killua. 

“But, what I think doesn't matter. My son loves his wife, who am I to meddle in that?”  
“That’s beautiful, sir.”  
“Although, that doesn’t mean I have to like it. So if you don’t mind I’ll be elsewhere.”  
“I understand, but I think Master Illumi would appreciate it.”  
“Illumi is too much like his mother, the same with Milluki. Little Kalluto seems to be taking after her as well…”  
“Actually, I think Master Illumi is a lot like his father.”  
“Is that so?”  
“And Master Silva is a lot like you.”  
“Ha! Oh if only he heard you say that… I would pay to see the look on his face.” 

Master Zeno chuckled at your assessment of them and then resumed his distinguished disposition. He turned and began to walk away. 

“Anyway, you have my answer. Now if you excuse me.”  
“Regardless of who they take after, they’re all your grandchildren,” you called out to him.  
“Yes, they are.”  
“So you should come for them.”  
“You’re determined to get me to that party aren't you?”  
“Yes sir, I am.”  
“Heh, you do have spirit, I’ll give you that. Alright, I’ll tell you what will get me to that party,” Zeno paused and turned with a slight smile on his face. “Dry aged Sherry, only the best.”  
“I’ll get it for you.”  
“Then I’ll be there… For the grandchildren of course.”  
“Of course,” you smiled and nodded.  
“And you better not spread that secret around. That stays between us.”  
“Yes sir. I wouldn't gossip.” 

Zeno nodded satisfied with your answer and walked away. He was the most respectful and down to earth of all the Zoldyck family members. He spoke to you as if you were a regular person rather than a servant. Zeno was the supervisor to Gotoh and Canary and treated them with respect too. He trusted you enough to share a secret and that meant a lot to you. Meanwhile, Kazuo found Killua who managed to sneak away from everyone again. He got the young boy’s attention and crouched down in the bushes. Kazuo was trying not to be seen by the other butlers, particularly Gotoh. 

He explained to Killua the Mother’s Day celebration and the requirements for attending. Killua gave him a half lidded expression clearly bored by the whole idea. 

“It sounds dumb… Why would I go to something like that?”  
“Sorry, but it isn't optional. All of your siblings are attending.”  
“All of them? Even Alluka?”  
“Who is Alluka, Master Killua?”  
“You mean you don’t know?”  
“I’m still fairly new here,” Kazuo explained. “There are many things I don’t know yet.”  
“She’s my little sister and she’s really special.”  
“Special how?”  
“I’m not really supposed to talk about it… But basically, she can grant wishes.”  
“Like a genie?”  
“No, not like that. Alluka isn't some made up fairytale character or something. It’s complicated… But she’s really awesome.”  
“…”  
“I used to see her all the time but now I don’t see her at all… They won’t let me near her.”  
“That’s unfortunate, I’ll see what I can do…”  
“Really? You think you can get them to let us play together again like we used to?”  
“I give you my word.”

Kazuo put his hand over his heart and Killua tried to hold back a smile. Aside from Canary none of the other butlers made an effort to talk to him. He had no friends. Illumi instilled the idea in him that he didn't need friends. It was also inappropriate for butlers to make friends with their Masters. Killua liked that Kazuo was different from everyone else. He was a breath of fresh air. At the same moment, they heard Gotoh calling for Killua.

“Looks like they’re looking for you again,” Kazuo commented.  
“Man, I can never get a break…”  
“Seems that way,” Kazuo joked. “So, will you attend the party?”  
“Yeah, sure whatever… Don’t know what my mom would like though…”  
“If it’s coming from you I’m sure anything would do.”  
“Yeah…”  
“If you want I can pick something out and you can say it’s from you.”  
“Okay, do that.”  
Killua left the bushes only to come right back. Kazuo was about to ask if he forgot something when Killua pointed at him. 

“So when are you gonna tell me a story?” Killua asked impatiently. “you promised.”  
“Soon Master Killua, not yet.”

Killua groaned and left the bushes again to answer Gotoh’s calls. Kazuo smirked and was pleased with himself for everything going according to his plan.


	5. Mother's Day Part 2

Mother’s Day was here and you had to make sure everything was as it should be. You and Kazuo woke up extra early that day to arrange the party. It was difficult but it seemed you would be able to pull it off. The Gourmet Hunter arrived and you came to the testing gate. You explained to Zebro you were expecting her and gave the Hunter special clearance after searching them for any weapons. All weapons would stay with Zebro and would be returned to her when she leaves. You also handed her a blindfold to wear to protect the identities of the Zoldyck family.

“Um, excuse me but do I have to wear this?” she asked.  
“Remove the blindfold and I’ll have to kill you.”  
“How am I supposed to cook this way?”  
“Our chef will be your eyes. Deal with it.” 

You threw open the testing gate and escorted the Gourmet Hunter into the estate. You could tell she was quite frightened even if she was a Hunter. It was important to keep the anonymity of the family. Once the chef was settled into the kitchen you and Kazuo started to decorate the garden. You took a step back to admire your work with a slight smile. 

“How beautiful.”  
“You did a wonderful job,” Kazuo complimented.  
“So did you. Thank you for your help, Kazuo.”  
“Is there anything else I can do?”  
“Yes, you can inform the butlers now. I’ll take care of the rest.” 

In Kalluto’s room, you helped him pick an outfit and dressed him. He chose a white kimono and a purple sash with flowers. You also put a flower in Kalluto’s hair and he put a matching one in your hair. Kalluto took your hand and you escorted him to the party. The first person there was Illumi inspecting the arrangements. He was wearing a suit for a change with his hair brushed back. Oh no… What if everything wasn't to his liking? You let go of Kalluto’s hand and approached him. 

“Is everything alright?”  
“Where is the cake?” Illumi abruptly asked.  
“Arriving from the kitchen shortly.”  
“And the hors d’oeuvres?”  
“As soon as the guests arrive they will come fresh out of the kitchen.”  
“How many flowers are there?”  
“One hundred and fifty two roses. There are exactly seventy six in white and seventy six in pink. I counted them exactly.”  
“…”  
“Is that satisfactory?”  
“Are you trying to get me to compliment you?”  
“No Sir, I’m just doing my job.” 

The Zoldyck chef, blindfolded Gourmet Hunter, and a butler brought out the large three tier cake on a cart. It was decorated with purple icing with white frills resembling Kikyo’s dress. On top of the cake was a candle that had the number thirty. 

“The candle is incorrect, Mother is not turning thirty.”  
“I know,” you smiled. “I figured Madame Kikyo would appreciate that.”  
“Clever.” 

You smiled brightly at Illumi’s compliment and he glanced at you with a blank expression. You had a beautiful smile. Suddenly, Kalluto tugged on his pant turning his attention from you to him. 

“Brother, look what I made Mother.” 

Kalluto held up their present for Kikyo which was a necklace of teeth from their victims. Illumi took the necklace and inspected that as well. 

“I helped him make it,” you said.  
“You should put this in a safe place, Kalluto.” 

Illumi gave the necklace back to Kalluto who nodded ran off somewhere. Everything was going well and the guests would be arriving shortly.

“Get me a drink,” Illumi ordered you.  
“Yes Sir.” 

You approached the bar you created in the garden. There were a few selections of alcohol. Sure enough, you found the first guest helping himself to the Sherry.

“Master Zeno, thank you for coming.”  
“Well, I told you I would, didn’t I?”  
“Dad,” you heard a strong voice behind you. “Don’t you think it’s a little early to start drinking?”  
“I’m not a child, Silva, you should loosen up yourself. It might do you some good.” 

The older man turned around and sipped his drink. Silva was standing tall with his arms crossed while looking down at his father. You started to pour a drink for Illumi as Zeno called out to you. 

“While you’re at it, get this man a drink,” Zeno jokingly ordered. “Something strong and make it a double.”  
“That isn't necessary,” Silva responded.  
“It is early but one drink would be perfectly acceptable,” you smiled. “It is a celebration after all.”  
“Listen to the girl,” Zeno smiled. “She’s smart.” 

Silva sighed and agreed to have a drink. You handed him his drink and gave a quick bow to bring Illumi his drink. You saw Maha and Zeno’s wife were here as well. You greeted the two quiet elders and thanked them for coming. You also saw Tsubone and Amane who accompanied Silva and greeted them as well. The party technically didn't even start yet and you were already tired. Kazuo was nowhere in sight. He should have finished his task a long time ago so you wondered where he was. Holding Illumi’s drink you found the chef and told him it was time to bring out the hors d’oeuvres. Finally, you returned to Ilumi with his drink. 

“That took a while,” Illumi criticized you.  
“I’m sorry for the wait, Sir.” 

You handed Illumi is drink and he silently sipped it. He hadn't moved an inch since you left him. He was just standing there… Watching everyone and everything.

“Your father, grandfather, grandmother, and great-great-grandfather are here,” you informed him.  
“…”  
“It was nice of them to come.”  
“…”  
“Um… Is there anything else I can get you?”  
“No.” 

The silence was awkward and for some reason, it almost felt romantic. If no one else was around and you weren't a servant you could convince yourself this was a date. You couldn't help but admire how well he cleaned up. 

“You’re staring at me,” Illumi abruptly said.  
“Oh um— You look very handsome, Master Illumi. Formal wear was a good choice for the event.”  
“I rarely wear suits but Mother likes them.”  
“May I say something?”  
“…”  
“I think it’s sweet you’re trying to make today special for your Mother.”  
“…”  
“You’re a good son, it’s a shame you’re overlooked.”  
“And who said I was overlooked?” 

You didn't think before you said that. You were getting too comfortable talking to Illumi and forgot yourself. 

“I— Well— Um…”  
“If you’re referring to the fact that I’m not the family heir the answer is simple. I am not good enough.”  
“…”  
“Kil is gifted,” Illumi explained. “When he was born everyone knew only he would be the heir to the family. He will surpass me one day. That’s why it is so important he learns from me. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he becomes a worthy assassin, even if he hates me for it.” 

It was sad that Illumi thought so little of himself. You thought he was the epitome of an assassin. Everyone praised Killua constantly but really, what did the boy ever do to receive such praise? Illumi was willing to ruin his relationship with his little brother just to ensure he became what they hoped for. You empathized with his struggle. You wanted to reach out to grasp his hand but you stopped yourself. You had feelings for this man and it was wrong. It felt wrong… So you dismissed yourself and went to take care of other things. 

Milluki came with a gift bag in his hand and you took it from him. Kalluto came back to you and gripped your pant in the same way he gripped his Mother’s dress. Over time Kalluto got quite attached to you too. Killua was the last Zoldyck child to arrive and he was fidgeting uncomfortably in his suit. The tie that Gotoh tied for him was untied again. Gotoh and Canary stood behind the boy. The butler sighed and kneeled to fix Killua’s tie once again. 

“For the last time Master Killua, leave it be,” Gotoh advised him.  
“You’re making it too tight, Gotoh!”  
“Kil, I’m glad you could make it,” Illumi said approaching his little brother.  
“This is dumb.”  
“I hope you brought something for Mother.”  
“Yeah, yeah… I got something.”

Killua looked around for Kazuo but couldn't find him either. They had a deal and he better have kept his promise. Nevertheless, everyone was here now. Soon, Illumi looked at his watch and approached you. 

“It’s time,” he informed you.  
“Should I go get Madame Kikyo?”  
“No, I will.”  
“Very well, Master Illumi. We’ll be waiting.” 

Illumi left the party and went to get his Mother. You instructed everyone to act excited once Madame Kikyo entered. Only Milluki seemed enthusiastic about that while Kalluto silently nodded in agreement. Killua pouted and reluctantly agreed to it. Illumi re-entered with his Mother and Milluki was the only one who actually shouted as instructed. 

“Oh, what is this!?” Kikyo brought her hands to her lips. “Illumi, you remembered.”  
“Actually, It was Kil’s idea,” Illumi responded.  
“No, it wasn’t!” Killua shouted. “I wouldn't come up with some lame party like this…”  
“Oh my Killua!” She grabbed Killua and hugged him. “Such a thoughtful child! So wonderful!”  
“Hey, why are you giving Kil all the credit!?” Milluki yelled, “No fair! I’m the one who first said we should do something for Mama!”  
“Quiet Milluki!” she snapped sharply. “You’re ruining my special day!”

You looked at Illumi a little unsure why he gave the credit to Killua. You felt sympathy for him once again as he willingly gave the spotlight away. Illumi didn't seem bothered by it. He was happy that his Mother was happy. You figured that’s what mattered at the end of the day. Kalluto let go of your pant and went to his Mother. Kalluto tugged on her dress asking for a hug but she was too busy hugging Killua. Eventually, Killua escaped her grasp. Silva approached his wife and gave her a kiss wishing her a happy birthday and Mother’s Day. That was the first time you saw them show any public affection. It was so sweet and endearing that you couldn't help but envy what they had.

Master Zeno wished Kikyo a happy Mother’s-Day-Birthday from the distance as he poured himself another drink. Silva scolded his father again for drinking too quickly while Milluki hogged the hors d’oeuvres. Everything felt so… Normal. You almost completely forgot they were all assassins. They felt like any ordinary family in the picturesque party you built for them.

“Where’s Alluka?” Killua interrupted the festivities. “Why isn't she here?”  
“He isn't here because this is a family event,” Illumi answered.  
“What did you say..?”  
“Killua, don’t get worked up,” Zeno warned him.  
“Why? What did Alluka ever do to you!?”  
“Killua that’s enough,” Silva warned him. “Settle down.” 

Illumi and Killua had a silent stare down. It was quite tense and you held your breath waiting for one of them to do something. 

“Mama,” a soft female voice said.

The entire party went silent as all the heads turned in the direction the voice came. The wide eyed child was accompanied by her attendant and Kazuo. 

“Alluka!” Killua shouted excitedly.  
“Why is he here?” Illumi asked Kazuo sternly.  
“Your exact words were and I quote ‘All of the Zoldyck children are required to attend. There are no negations about it.’ I simply repeated your message to Alluka’s attendant.”  
“Alluka is not a Zoldyck child,” Illumi coldly stated.  
“My mistake then… A simple misunderstanding.” 

Killua fiercely glared at his elder brother as Alluka walked towards the family. She approached Kikyo who was sitting down near her husband. She was holding a flower in her hand. 

“Mama, I brought you a flower.” 

Alluka held up a flower to Kikyo who refused to look at her. You looked around at the other butlers in the room who stood like pillars with their hands clasped behind their backs. Gotoh looked straight ahead without a single wrinkle in his face. Tsubone and Amane did the same. You made eye contact with Canary briefly before she looked away. Alluka inched her way closer to Kikyo insisting that she take the flower while smiling. 

“Happy Mother’s Day.”  
“Get him out of here,” Kikyo angrily ordered. “Now.”  
“Y-Yes ma'am.”

Alluka’s attendant quickly scooped up the child as she still held the flower out to Kikyo. It was so cold… Even for a family of assassins. That interaction lit something inside of you. It reminded of your own Mother who left you crying in a box. Did she love you? Did she turn her head from you in the same fashion that Kikyo did? 

For the first time with the Zoldyck family, you imagined acting violently towards one of the family members. There was something wrong with you. Your job was to serve the family and you were not supposed to take sides. But no matter how angry you were it couldn't even compare to Killua’s rage. The little boy had a look of hate in his eyes as he eyed his family. In just a few brief seconds the cake and everything else you had laid out went flying. The little boy hit the table with such power it broke in half while everything else went up in the air. Some of the sweet debris hit you and stained your butler’s suit. 

“BRING ALLUKA BACK!!!” Killua yelled so loudly that you and the other butlers had to cover their ears. 

He was so enraged that you were frightened he would murder the whole family right there. Kikyo wasn't frightened… She was pleased, happy even. What was wrong with this woman!? Soon, Killua fell to his knees and grasped his head. It seemed as if he was in pain from an excruciating headache. Silva gestured Gotoh to take Killua away. Gotoh grabbed the little boy who squirmed. The butler successfully got ahold of him and took him out of the room. He would most likely go to the isolation room now. Zeno sighed and left the garden following Gotoh and Killua. Silva sighed and left the garden as well. Kikyo was repulsed by Alluka’s presence and took Kalluto by the hand leaving the garden. The elders silently left the garden as well. 

Illumi and Milluki were the only ones left. The latter was still stuffing his face even after all that happened. 

“What do you expect from Kil!?” he said with his mouth full. “I told you he’s rotten!”  
“Shut your mouth, Milluki,” Illumi sternly corrected his brother. 

Illumi’s Mother’s Day was a disaster and while you looked at him sympathetically he avoided your gaze. He walked past you and Kazuo pausing only for a moment. 

“Clean this up,” he coldly ordered. “The party is over.”  
“Yes, Sir…”

Illumi left the garden and while his expression didn't show it, you could tell he was disappointed. You turned your attention to Kazuo roughly grabbing him by the collar.

“Explain yourself, Kazuo.”  
“I-I told you. I misunderstood Master Illumi’s instructions. I didn't know Alluka was forbidden from attending!”  
“Tch.” 

You let go of Kazuo feeling as disappointed as Illumi was. You were angry but you weren't about to beat Kazuo for it. It was an honest mistake, even you didn't know the full situation with Alluka. You instructed Kazuo to help you clean up and the party and to your surprise Tsubone, Canary, and Amane began to help you. 

“You don’t have to do that,” you told them.  
“You did enough on your own,” Tsubone spoke. “If only you had a useful apprentice and not a buffoon.” 

Canary and Amane both smirked as they cleaned up the cake on the grass. Kazuo took offense to that and shot the older woman a glare. Tsubone smiled back at the young man. Neither one of them said a word to each other. Kazuo scoffed and continued to assist in the cleanup.


	6. Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you to everyone who has been enjoying the story so far. This fic has been pretty mild up until this point. This chapter and future chapters will contain sexual content, specifically BDSM. It's how I interpreted Illumi expressing himself sexually. If that is something that makes you uncomfortable you should stop reading now.

Killua wasn't the only one who was punished for his outburst on Mother’s Day. The next day Kazuo was punished by Illumi for his mistake. Kazuo walked down the hallway with his shirt slung over his shoulder. His chest and arms were covered in various tattoos with foreign symbols and words. There were screaming skulls on his body as well. The lashes Kazuo got for his punishment accompanied the tattoos. Killua saw Kazuo from behind and noted the lashes. 

“You too, huh?” he asked Kazuo.   
“Master Killua,” Kazuo turned around. “I didn't see you there.”   
“I hate them…”   
“Who?”   
“My family…”   
“You shouldn't hate your family.”   
“You didn't do anything wrong… And neither did Alluka!”   
“Why is your family so frightened of Alluka?”  
“I told you… Alluka is really powerful. I…It isn't fair!” 

Kazuo kneeled down and put his hand on Killua’s shoulder. He portrayed sympathy for the child and displayed an earnest desire to help him. 

“I will find a way to help Alluka. Then you two can be happy again.”   
“Don’t,” Killua warned him. “Forget it. You’re gonna get yourself killed.”   
“But I want to.”   
“Why?”   
“Because… We’re friends now, aren't we?”   
“…”   
“I know, I still owe you that story, but I consider us friends, don’t you?” 

Killua didn't know what to say to that. He never had a friend before in his life. Canary wanted to be Killua’s friend but her role as a servant prevented them from being friends. He was afraid that Kazuo would get himself killed over him and Alluka. He didn't want to be responsible for his death. 

“Just, don’t be reckless, you know…” 

Kazuo smiled and moved his hand in his hair tossing it in affectionately as an older brother would. Killua pushed his hand away annoyed and started to walk off. While walking away a tattoo symbol appeared on the back of Killua's neck. Kazuo’s tattoos on his body began to move around his skin. A shock of Nen burned the tattoo up erasing it from Killua’s skin. Killua’s hand flew to the back of his neck. Kazuo’s tattoos immediately stopped moving on his arms and chest. 

“Are you alright, Master Killua?” Kazuo asked him seemingly concerned.   
“Yeah, I think something bit me, no big deal.” 

Killua continued to walk away until he was completely out of sight. Kazuo was dissatisfied with his failure to mark Killua with his Nen ability. 

“He’s already being controlled by someone else?” Kazuo thought to himself. “Someone’s Aura canceled out mine and It was more powerful too… This isn’t going to work.” 

Kazuo had to rethink his approach to the mutiny he was planning within the Zoldyck family. Killua was an important player in his game but he could not overpower the existing Nen inside of him. When Killua was a baby Illumi placed a needle inside of his brain. Unbeknownst to Kazuo, that was what was preventing him from taking over. The abilities of Illumi and Kazuo weren't all that different. Both were able to control others but Kazuo had to first tattoo an individual by touching them. 

Once that individual was marked their emotions and actions could be altered or completely controlled. They could be given commands or tasks to perform. Every crew member of The Black Bandanna Buccaneers was controlled by Kazuo. Their tattoos were hidden underneath their bandannas. You didn't know that every person you killed that day was mindless. This ability worked best on weak minded individuals, those overtaken by greed, or young developing minds.

It would not work on a strong minded person like Illumi, Silva, Zeno, Gotoh, or you. Although, Kazuo found you easy to manipulate emotionally. You weren't stupid but your compassion clouded your judgment. He would continue to exploit that side of you. Along the way Kazuo found you and added a limp to his performance for good measure. You tried your hardest to not be bothered by the sight but Kazuo carried on moaning and groaning in agony. You sighed and approached him trying to portray authority.

“I see you received your punishment,” you stated. “I trust you learned your lesson now.”  
“I said I was sorry… Was that not good enough?”   
“…”   
“Master Illumi is awful.”   
“Watch your mouth,” you corrected him. “Don’t speak poorly of him.”   
“I told you, I didn't know about Alluka. You would think he would be a little forgiving…” 

Your icy demeanor melted and you sighed feeling sympathetic towards your apprentice. It was likely Illumi was taking out his frustrations on Kazuo. You instructed him to go back to the butler’s quarters. Eventually you found Illumi in the isolation room personally polishing the torture tools. While that was the servant’s job he wanted to make them shine. He really was obsessed with perfection. You entered the isolation room and greeted him politely with a bow. Illumi continued to polish the tools and then put them in their place. He didn't bother to stop and look at you. 

“Master Illumi, may we speak for a moment?” you asked respectfully.  
“And waste my time? Sure, why not.” 

Illumi was even colder and more sarcastic than before. He trained himself to not show any emotion and usually spoke in an eerily cheery fashion but you knew he was merely suppressing his emotions. Who he really was inside was a mystery.

“I find your treatment of Kazuo overly harsh. He simply misunderstood your instructions. That is all.”   
“Misunderstandings have consequences.”   
“He made a mistake.”   
“Yes, and he paid for it.”   
“That’s unfair.”  
“I don’t think I asked for your opinion.”   
“Master Illumi, If I may be frank, I think you’re masking your emotions. If you’re upset that’s completely understandable—-”  
“I’m not upset. I don’t get upset because that is a pointless thing to do.”   
“You can’t just choose what to feel…”  
“This conversation is pointless too. Leave.”   
“No.”   
“No?”

Now you got his attention and he looked in your direction. His gaze intimidated you but you stood your ground. You cleared your throat and clasped your hands behind your back. 

“While I can’t tell you what to do I will say this,” you strongly stated. “If you punished Kauzo you should punish me too. I take full responsibility for what happened.”  
“You want me to?”   
“I uh—“   
“I asked you a question.”   
“It’s only fair… I was the one who told him what to do.”   
“Take off your shirt then.” 

Illumi was daring you just to see if you would go through with it. Once again, you didn't lose your resolve.

“Fine.” 

You took your weighted butler jacket off and threw it to the side. It hit the ground with a loud thump. Then you took off your butler’s pendent and tossed it where your jacket was. With two hands you began to unbutton your white shirt. Illumi heard the surveillance camera turn in your direction and threw a needle breaking the camera. No doubt Milluki screamed at his screens in disappointment. Once your shirt was fully unbuttoned you threw it on top of your jacket and pendent. Now you were clad in only your bra and you tried not to blush. 

“Stand there.”   
“Yes Sir.” 

Illumi put the cuffs connected to the chains on your wrists and also chained your ankles. Once you were fully chained up Illumi raised you off the ground by turning the old mechanism. You never felt so vulnerable before and it wasn't something you disliked. In fact, you were a little excited. Illumi walked over to the wall of torture tools and picked a whip from the wall. He cracked it once in the air and you bit your lip. It was obvious he was trying to scare you. 

“This is your last chance to change your mind.”   
“I can take it.” 

You may have been obedient and polite but you never lost your feisty nature. The fighter Illumi first met was still inside of you. Perhaps, that was why he favored you the most. This wasn't even about Kazuo anymore. Now, this was about something unspoken between you and Illumi. You had something to prove to him. Illumi hit your abdomen with the whip once and you grunted. The initial pain was followed by a surprisingly pleasurable stinging sensation that was quite stimulating. You smiled slightly while your skin reddened and throbbed. You weren't the only one taking unusual pleasure in the act. Illumi liked seeing you like this. This was actually therapeutic. 

“What are you smiling for?”  
“No reason.”   
“Are you mocking me?”   
“No.”   
“No Sir,” Illumi corrected you.

Illumi cracked the whip again as if making his point. Well, this is certainly not what you expected when you came here. What was your original reason? Oh yeah… That. At this point, the only thing that mattered was Illumi. You eyed him hungrily in the dim purplish light of the isolation room. He looked even more handsome and menacing in this atmosphere. For a moment Illumi stopped and leaned in next to you. 

“You’re enjoying this,” he whispered in your ear.   
“So are you,” you whispered back. 

Illumi gave you a small sadistic smirk as a response. It was the first time you ever saw him emote. So he was capable of displaying emotion. Illumi grabbed your jaw kissed you with authority. It was welcomed although you were frustrated that you lacked the ability to kiss him back. You also lacked the ability to wrap your legs around his waist or pull his long hair. Illumi heard you instinctively pull on the chains above your head and pulled back. 

“Oh, you want me to stop?” Illumi asked.  
“No, I want to touch you.”   
“That’s too bad,” He taunted you. “I’m not done punishing you, but you will tell me to stop if it becomes unbearable, understand?”  
“Yes, Sir.”

Illumi resumed his role as the dominant one and hit your flesh with the whip once again. Hitting you harder than before. The red lines across your chest stomach began to bleed. One of your bra straps broke and the other was hanging by a thread. Illumi threw the whip to the side and traced the lines he made with his thumb. You had to wonder if this was the real Illumi, cruel and sadistic. Yet, there was something almost gentle about his touch. He traveled further up your body caressing the skin underneath the tattered bra. 

Illumi kissed you again and this time you made an effort to kiss him back now that he wasn't holding your jaw. Soon he moved to your neck while still massaging the bruised skin. It was an understatement to say you were aroused. He must have read your mind because Illumi unbuttoned your pants with deft fingers. Suddenly, he heard some voices in the hallway and rebuttoned your pants as quickly as he unbuttoned them. 

“There are too many people,” Illumi informed you.  
“You would think the estate was big enough to have some privacy…” you joked.

Illumi found that amusing although he didn't show it in his expression. He pulled himself away and walked over to the mechanism to lower you. When your feet touched the floor you came back to reality. For a little while, it felt as if you were in a dream. An erotic fantasy of yours and it was over now. Illumi walked over to you and freed you from the chains on your wrist and ankles. You rubbed your sore wrists as Illumi picked up your shirt and suit jacket. He slung both items over his forearm. Illumi handed you your shirt and you put it on, buttoning it up. The lashes still stung underneath your shirt and the blood seeped into the white fabric. Surprisingly, he gently hung your weighted jacket over your shoulders. It felt heavier than before. 

“You surprised me,” Illumi said bluntly.   
“Hmm?”   
“I didn't take you for a masochist.”   
“Um— Well— I probably wouldn't have enjoyed that if it was anyone else…”   
“So, you do have feelings for me.”   
“You knew?”   
“You can only stare at someone for so long and expect them to not catch on.”   
“I do that a lot, huh?”   
“Constantly.” 

You smiled a little bit embarrassed by your lingering gazes in the past. You were also embarrassed by what just occurred. You might not have had sex but the room was still charged with sexual energy. It was too risky to continue even if you wanted to. It was likely this would be a one time thing. 

“Do you feel better now?” You asked Illumi  
“And why are you concerned about how I feel?”   
“Because I care about you, Master Illumi.”   
“You don’t need to concern yourself with my emotions.”   
“Someone has to.”

Illumi was surprised to hear you say something like that. His feelings weren't something that was acknowledged. Over time he got used to that. Now, you reminded him he did have feelings and desires.

“Do you want me to go now?” you asked.  
“You’re dismissed.” 

You gave a slight smile and gave a quick bow leaving the isolation room. Illumi wasn't quite sure what to do with you now. To continue to indulge in these foolish desires would be… Well… foolish. Still, Illumi couldn't convince himself that he was done with you. Knowing what turned you on now gave him all sorts of ideas. If only he could have the isolation room to himself without any possible interruptions. It wasn't just the interruptions that were an issue. The entire estate had cameras everywhere. If you two weren’t careful you would get caught. Illumi left the isolation room and Milluki found him in the hallway. 

“Why did you break the camera!?" Milluki shouted. "That was so uncool!”   
“Why were you spying on me?” Illumi retorted.   
“I wasn't spying on you! I was— um—“   
“Yes? Go on, Milluki.”   
“It’s my job to watch the cameras! Duh!”   
“Uh-huh…”   
“Tch. If I wanted to see boobs I would just go on the internet like everyone else!”   
“I’m sure Mother would love to hear that. I’ll go tell her.” 

Illumi walked past his younger brother who grabbed his arm with panic. He looked at his younger brother with his usual apathetic expression. 

“Wait! Don’t tell mama I said that!” 

Illumi didn't say a word and pulled his arm away. He continued to walk away from Milluki who found his behavior a little strange. 

“But you’re still acting suspicious…”   
“…”  
“I just can’t put my finger on it…”   
“Milluki,” Illumi stopped walking and eerily looking over his shoulder. “Mind your own business.” 

Milluki nodded sweating a little from the intimidating gaze his older brother gave him. Although Illumi wouldn't seriously hurt any of his younger siblings he still frightened them, especially Milluki. Meanwhile on your way back to the Butler’s quarter’s you ran into one of the family members too. You were hoping to return without running into anyone but it was a long walk.

“You’ve been disciplined as well,” Zeno said noticing the bloodstains.   
“Um, hello Master Zeno. Yes, I’ve received the appropriate punishment for my actions…”  
“It wasn't your fault the party was a disaster, although I knew it would be one from the start… There’s a reason we don’t gather like that, you know.”   
“Is it because of Master Alluka?”   
“That’s one reason, yes… But there are many other reasons.”  
“…”  
“I should apologize for Killua’s behavior. We’re trying with the boy but sometimes he gets out of hand.”   
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Sir.”   
“Well, you just let me know if Illumi gets too rough with you. Yes, I know I’m meddling but the boy can be too cruel sometimes… Just like his mother.”   
“Thank you, Master Zeno, I appreciate it.” 

You bowed and quickly walked away trying to avoid further conversation. You couldn't hide the fact you were flustered for long. What occurred between you and Illumi happened too quickly for you to fully grasp the situation. Certainly, you crossed the line of being a butler and there was no going back. Even that in itself was exciting but very dangerous.


	7. The Contract

A week went by and you resumed your normal butler duties. You took care of Kalluto as you always did in addition to your other responsibilities. Illumi went back to his normal routine as well. Currently, he was away on a job. You missed him but you also wondered what he thought about what occurred between you two. You hadn't talked to him since that day because he left almost immediately after. Even now, you could still feel the sting from his lashes when you thought about it. It was arousing to replay the scene in your head over and over again. It was your secret. 

Meanwhile, Kazuo seemed to have fixed his attitude since then and was behaving himself. He didn't talk as much as he did before. In fact, now he only spoke when directly spoken to. He obeyed orders and tried to not make any more mistakes.

“Kazuo, can you clean Master Kalluto’s room and bring the food for the hounds?” you asked him.  
“Yes, I can do that…”  
“Um, you may take a break when you are finished.”  
“Thank you for your kindness, ma’am…”  
“Hey Kazuo, you don’t have to be so formal.”  
“Wasn’t that my issue? I was too informal.”  
“Yes, but now you’re too formal…”  
“I am unhappy here.” 

He seemed broken and you almost felt sorry for him. It was true, life as a Zoldyck butler wasn't easy.

“I know being a servant is a little strange and all but you should take pride in your work.”  
“Can I ask you a question, ma’am?”  
“I’ll allow it.”  
“Why are you so devoted to the family?”  
“Well Kazuo, I didn't have anything before them,” you explained. “They gave me a reason to live so I am happy knowing I’m fulfilling an important responsibility.”  
“And your devotion to Master Illumi?”  
“I—The same reason, of course.”  
“…”  
“…It might take some more time but I’m certain you’ll get used to it.” 

You smiled slightly and Kazuo nodded smiling back at you. Confident that you encouraged your apprentice you walked away to resume your work. Canary was standing nearby watching Kazuo intensely. He approached Canary and crouched down so he was at eye level with her. While he attempted to seem intimidating Canary did not budge. 

“Can I help you?” Kazuo asked in a friendly tone.  
“Didn’t you receive your orders?” Canary coldly responded. “Why are you bothering with me?”  
“I was wondering why you were watching me.”  
“I’ve never seen a tiger change their stripes before, and do it that quickly too,” Canary smirked. “You must be a rare animal indeed.” 

Kazuo straightened himself and looked down at Canary with narrowed eyes. The little girl continued to look up at him fearlessly. The staredown lasted several moments until Kazuo scoffed and left to carry out his duties. Canary continued to eye him and went back to her training. In the afternoon you saw Illumi return to the estate. He casually ran his hands through his hair as he walked up to the family home.

“Welcome home, Master Illumi,” you said while bowing. “Did you have a safe trip?”  
“Is Kil here?”  
“Um yes, Master Killua is here.”  
“Okay. I’ll go see him. I have something I want to teach him.”  
“Master Illumi, you’ve just returned… You should rest first.”  
“I’ll rest when I need to.”  
“Right…”  
“You were waiting for me to return?” Illumi asked abruptly.  
“Uh… I always wait for you to return.”  
“I see. Meet me in my room in four hours.”  
“Oh—Um—“  
“We can’t speak here out in the open.”  
“Of course… Is there something specific you wanted to talk about?” 

Illumi gave you the side eye as if to say that was a stupid question. He silently walked off leaving you where you were. Exactly four hours later you came to his room just like he said. Illumi was sitting on the floor again with his legs crossed. He knew he had a bed, didn't he? He did some very strange things… Anyway, you entered the room and gave a polite bow. 

“Yes, Master Illumi, did you need something?”  
“You’re late.”  
“Um, you said four hours later…”  
“I want you to look over this document,” Illumi said holding a piece of paper out to you. “Then I want you to sign it agreeing to the terms if you don’t object to them.”  
“What is this?”  
“It’s an extension of your already existing Zoldyck butler contract. It extends your duties beyond what is already expected from you.” 

You expected Illumi to talk about what occurred between you two but you didn't expect this. You read over the document which was several pages long. You didn’t even know when he had the time to make this but it was incredibly detailed. The document included the terms for a give and take relationship between you and Illumi. It described your roles and expectations, as well as the consequences for breaching the contract. You felt your ears get red while reading the terms and conditions. 

“Master Illumi… This is a sex contract…”  
“The purpose is for recreation and nothing more.”  
“…Does your father know about this?”  
“No, and he won’t. No one will know about this except you and me.” 

You looked over the terms again this time paying better attention to the details. Reading it the first time you were overwhelmed. The second time you were able to retain the information. 

“Why is cuddling prohibited?” you asked Illumi.  
“I don’t cuddle.”  
“And breaks are prohibited?”  
“I’m busy and I get bored.”  
“And talking about our relationship is punishable by death?”  
“Yes.”  
“These terms and conditions are quite unreasonable…”  
“You can’t speak of this to anyone.”  
“I get that part… But everything else… It’s very one sided. Don’t I get a say?”  
“No. I already own you.”  
“You don’t own me,” you corrected him. “I am providing a service for the Zoldyck family.”  
“Huh, I thought you liked being at the mercy of someone else.”  
“Not all the time. I like being treated like a person too.”  
“Make up your mind.”  
“I did.” 

You tore the contract Illumi created in half and handed it back to him. Although his expression didn't show it he was a little surprised you did that. 

“Revise it, then I’ll sign it,” you said. “I want at least twenty minutes with you after each session.”  
“Five minutes,” Illumi contested.  
“Fifteen minutes”  
“Two minutes.”  
“Ten minutes and not a second less!”  
“Fine. You’ll have your condition.” 

Illumi dismissed you so he could revise the contract. The next day you looked over the terms again. Many of the items were unchanged but your condition was added. You were granted ten minutes with Illumi after each session. You would be summoned at random for each session and you were expected to perform as specified. A few days passed and Illumi took another job but when he returned he summoned you for the first time since you signed the contract. 

It was after midnight where most of the family members were asleep, at least the children were. Milluki was awake watching some anime on his computer. While Illumi’s room was one of the few rooms free of cameras the hallway was full of them. You moved quickly from one blindspot to another like a trained assassin would. You also stuck to the shadows of the hallway. You successfully made it to Illumi’s room undetected. That training of yours sure came in handy. 

“Good evening, Master Illumi.”  
“…”  
“You summoned me?”  
“…”  
“Was there something you needed?”  
“Did you already forget what you signed?”  
“Of course not, I just didn't want to make any assumptions…”  
“Well, are you going to stand there or are you going to strip?”  
“So demanding,” you thought to yourself as you took your weighted jacket off. “But that is expected.”

You took off the pendant and started to unbutton your white shirt. Unlike last time you took off your shoes and also removed your pants throwing them in the same pile. Illumi sat on his bed with one leg up and an arm slung over his knee. He watched you with his usual soulless expression which was impossible to read. With one hand he gestured for you to turn around while spinning his finger. You turned around and waited for another command. Illumi took his time getting up from the bed but you heard the movement of the sheets. You didn't dare to look over your shoulder. 

“Close your eyes,” Illumi commanded.  
“Yes Sir.” 

Suddenly, you felt a silk sash cover your eyes as Illumi tied it with a tight knot. He grabbed your arms and tied your wrists together as well. This was only your second submissive experience with Illumi but you were even more excited this time. It felt much more intimate. You couldn't see a thing but that only heightened your other senses. Illumi looked down at his right hand and altered it into a claw. Still standing behind you he brought his hand to your neck. Illumi gently teased the soft flesh of your neck with his thumb stroking it back and forth. He began to apply pressure breaking the skin and you let out a small gasp.

“This is a special assassination technique passed down in the Zoldyck family for generations. I don’t use it often. Be honored.” 

One of the items in the contract stated that no marks could be made on the face since that would raise suspicions. Still, he was taking a risk scratching your neck. Perhaps a part of him wanted to declare you were his. 

“Are you scared?” he bluntly asked.  
“No Sir.”  
“Huh, you should be. I’m close to your jugular.”  
“I trust you, Master Illumi.” 

Illumi let go of your neck and you sensed his presence leave you from behind for a brief moment. Without a warning, you were pushed back onto the bed with force. Your arms being tied behind your back was a little uncomfortable in this position and that was part of the fun. It was a test of endurance as much as it was a sexual pastime. A few swipes was all it took to shred your undergarments. That was the second bra he ruined… Damn. 

“Don’t move,” Illumi warned you.  
“Yes Sir.”

The clawed hand moved down your body slowly leaving a streak of scratches while his other hand caressed the reddened skin. They were two very different sensations happening simultaneously. It was quite poetic actually. Part of Illumi was tender while the other was monstrous. The duality of Illumi was as intriguing as it was frightening. Right now, you were more focused on the sensation than anything else. Illumi leaned down to kiss you while touching your skin. It was as demanding as the kiss from before if not even more so. Finally, his human hand touched you where you wanted him to touch you in the isolation room. You let out a moan as Illumi pleasured you. 

“I barely touched you and you're already a mess,” he casually criticized. “That’s pretty pathetic.”

Illumi was full of remarks, insults, and criticisms. This went on throughout the entire session. It still wasn’t clear if he was roleplaying or if this was just his personality. What you couldn't see because of your blindfold was that he was smiling… Quite sadistically but still a smile nonetheless. Illumi wasn't as interested in the intercourse part of the session. Most of the excitement was in the foreplay.  
Still, this would be your first time making love and he knew that. It had to be memorable and it certainly was. You were blindfolded and bound the entire time. Once again, you were unable to reach out to him and could only use your voice. You became too loud at some point causing Illumi to cover your mouth with his hand. 

“Do you want to wake up the entire estate?”  
“…”  
“Bite.” 

You didn't want to hurt him but you obeyed and bit his hand. Illumi didn't have any reaction to the pain whatsoever. It was a testament to how much pain he was already used to. After the session, Illumi removed your blindfold and he took a moment to admire you. Your face was red, your eyes were glossy, and your hair was astray. This was his favorite look for you. Reluctantly, he untied your bound wrists which you rubbed. Illumi revealed a sliding door that was a private bathroom. There were bathrooms all over the family residence. Thankfully, the siblings wouldn't need to fight over who gets to use it first. 

You went to the bathroom to clean up and wipe away the blood left on your torso from Illumi’s markings. While you were in the bathroom Illumi also admired the bite mark on his hand. You bit hard enough to make him bleed and he wiped it away. Illumi then went to his closet and found a silk kimono. It was blue with purple flowers. He laid it out for you and put on his own kimono which was black with a blue dragon and flowers. You saw the kimono left for you and thanked him. You put it on and got back into the bed. Illumi set a timer and put it on a nearby table. With the timer set, he got back into bed keeping his distance and looking straight up at the ceiling.

“You have exactly ten minutes with me.”  
“Um… That’s… That’s not what I meant…”  
“…”  
“Can you come closer?”  
“No.”  
“What are you afraid of?”  
“I’m not afraid of anything.” 

You pulled Illumi closer into an embrace and snuggling up to his chest. You smiled genuinely enjoying the warmth of his body. Illumi looked straight up with the expression of a dead fish.

“I don't like this,” he complained.  
“You weren't shown a lot of love, were you?”

He looked at you with an annoyed half lidded expression and you let go of him immediately. You spooked him with your affection and he also didn't care for that comment you made. 

“Illumi…”  
“Master Illumi,” he corrected you.  
“Maybe, for ten minutes, we can forget the titles?”  
“That wasn't a part of the contract.”  
“…”  
“If you wanted that as a condition you should have specified it.”  
“…Why are you so cold?”  
“Hmm?”  
“You can’t express yourself without being cruel… Why?”  
“So, I get a free therapy session every time we do this?”  
“You’re doing it again…”  
“These are pointless questions.”  
“I told you, I care about you.” 

Illumi narrowed his eyes and took a stern tone with you. Without realizing it you sabotaged yourself with your silly comment. 

“You’re wrong to think I was unloved. My mother and father loved me very much but that is irrelevant.”  
“…”  
“What matters is the family business as a whole. If I were useless they could kill me and I would agree with that decision. I am willing to die for my family regardless of love.”  
“…”  
“A Zoldyck child has certain expectations from birth. I don't resent my parents for their treatment of me. In fact, I’m thankful. Now, I can pass everything I know onto Kil.”  
“…”  
“Also, our contract doesn't grant you the freedom to say whatever you wish about my family.”  
“…”  
“Know your place.”

Obviously, you touched on a sensitive subject for Illumi. While he did open up to an extent the entire mood was killed. Illumi’s last statement served as a reminder of what you were to him. You sighed and got up removing the robe to put your clothes on.

“You still have several minutes left,” he informed you. “The timer didn’t go off yet.”  
“It’s alright… I think I should go now.”  
“You said you wanted to spend time with me, didn't you?”  
“Yes and now I think I should go.”  
“Very well, your condition was pointless anyway.” 

Illumi didn't realize how cold that came across or maybe he did and he didn't care. You really did have a cruel lover. You felt a little stupid thinking that these sessions could go beyond just sexual satisfaction. Clearly, Illumi wasn't interested in getting to know you better as a person. You were beneath him and it hurt to admit it. This was the closest you would ever get to him. Accepting that reality you left Illumi’s room and avoided being spotted by cameras again. 

On the way back you saw Canary at her post standing between the main residence and the butler’s quarters. You didn't want to run into someone now but at least it wasn't a member of the family this time. 

“It is late,” Canary informed you.  
“Yes, I know.”  
“You aren't supposed to disturb the family at this hour.”  
“I was summoned…”  
“For what reason?”  
“I don’t think I need to explain myself to you. I am your superior, not the other way around.”  
“A good answer,” Canary smiled. “I wanted to see what you would say. You answered correctly.” 

You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms at Canary’s assessment of you. She continued not bothering to apologize for being so forward. 

“Some of the staff think you’re a pushover.”  
“And why would they think that?”  
“You’re too easy on Kazuo.”  
“Again with this?”  
“So, why?”  
“Why what?”  
“Why are you so easy on him?”  
“He’s been better, hasn't he?”  
“Kazuo is deceiving you.”  
“I think Gotoh is rubbing off on you, Canary.”  
“For someone with such good eyesight, you are blind. Are you choosing not to see it because you want to believe in the goodness of his heart? Some people have no good in their hearts. Some people are dark and cruel and that is all there is to them. You will be disappointed.”  
“You don’t know what’s in someone’s heart.”  
“No, but instinct serves one well.”  
“I’m not going to give up on him,” you sharply responded. “Just because he can’t express himself well doesn't mean he’s a terrible person. I refuse to believe that. He can be kind… He isn't always cruel.”  
“Are we still talking about Kazuo?”  
“…”  
“When you just spoke your expression changed. You were thinking of someone else.”  
“…”  
“Well, you’ve been warned,” Canary said stepping aside. “You may pass now.”

You gave Canary the side eye as you walked back to the butler’s quarters. She was right, for a moment you were thinking of Illumi, not Kazuo. Of course, you couldn't explain that. Still, you believed both of them were misunderstood. You wanted to believe both men had kindness deep inside their hearts. Illumi already proved that he did. You saw all the trouble he went through for his family. He was capable of love and that gave you hope.


	8. Damage Control

A few months went by and Killua turned one year older. There was no real celebration for him, not that he would want one. He became even more distant and resentful towards his family. Illumi continued to keep a close eye on him in addition to taking job after job. In between jobs, Illumi would summon you as your contract stated. While you were happy to oblige there was something empty about your agreement. It was exciting at first and no session was the same as the last. Illumi was rather creative using various methods of bondage and domination. The tools from the Isolation room disappeared at random times, confusing the family. 

Your body was decorated with marks often and you were almost always sore. Some of the butlers had to wonder why you were always tired or in pain. Gotoh noticed the occasional scratches on your neck and you blamed it on Kalluto. It had to be believable but his skepticism was not easily quelled. Gotoh slipped a pencil between your neck and shirt collar. He pulled it to reveal a blue-ish purple mark on your neck. 

“I assume Master Kalluto is to blame for this too?”  
“Um… Yes, while I was carrying him he punched me in the neck.”  
“Uh-huh…”  
“Are you satisfied?” you asked annoyed.  
“No, I’m not,” Gotoh removed the pencil. “Do you take me for a fool as well? I have to keep an eye on YOUR apprentice and now I have to keep an eye on you too? Ridiculous and inexcusable.”  
“I told you, Kazuo is not your responsibility.”  
“You’re not lovers, are you?” Gotoh asked abruptly.  
“Excuse me?”  
“You are constantly in his defense and I know the true nature of your blemishes. Don’t insult my intelligence.”  
“No, we’re not lovers.”  
“If you were, I would have to report such an indiscretion.”  
“You would report me even if it meant my death?”  
“My loyalty is to the family, not to you. You know what the rules are.”  
“…”  
“I’m watching you,” he warned.

You never met such a bloodhound in your life. Gotoh was wrong about who your lover was but he was right believing you had one. Now you had to be extra careful since you were being closely monitored. You worried it was just a matter of time until you and Illumi were discovered. 

While the sessions felt good in the moment it took its toll mentally and physically. Being Illumi’s lover was quite demanding. It was hard to satisfy him. Even so, you didn't want to cease your contract yet. You cherished the small amount of time you spent with him. You still got your ten minutes after each session as stated in the contract. This short time was spent in silence. You learned Illumi didn't like to talk very much after sex nor did he like to cuddle. He enjoyed the afterglow silently as you recovered from the session. You didn't try to pry anymore.

You stayed quiet underneath the covers while your fatigue caught up to you. Most recently, you fell asleep. The timer ticked away as you started to snore. The noise caught his attention. Illumi looked to the side noting how gentle you looked asleep although your snore was annoying. Suddenly, the timer went off disrupting your sleep. Illumi threw a needle breaking the poor timer. He threw it with such ferocity as if it were an intruder. 

“Five more minutes…” you sleepily asked.  
“Sleep,” Illumi said.  
“O-kay…”

Illumi wasn't unaware of how physically demanding he was to you. He wanted to know how much you could take before asking him to terminate the contract. You never did which was surprising to him. You’ve said you cared about him before and it was true. You were the person who spent the most time with him. Naturally, Illumi grew quite attached to you. While on jobs he was completely focused as a professional assassin would be. Once he returned home he did look forward to seeing you. The sessions became part of his routine. 

While he acknowledged his selfishness he also realized he developed a fondness for you. He wanted you to be near him at all times. Illumi put his hand on your head and gently stroked your hair. It was the most affection he had shown you so far. 

“You’re mine,” he whispered to you.  
“…”  
“You belong to me.”  
“…”

You were asleep and could not respond to his claim. Illumi had a twisted way of understanding love. He believed love and hate were two sides of the same coin. He also believed the ultimate form of love was ownership. It was the way he was raised that brought him to that conclusion. His mother and father controlled every little aspect of his life and in that way they loved him. He tried to control Killua and that showed he loved him. Now, he desired to protect and control you. You were his now whether you liked it or not. 

When you awoke you found yourself close to Illumi being held quite tightly. It was your understanding that Illumi didn't like affection. Maybe it was more accurate to say he didn't like to receive it. Currently, It was impossible to escape from his tight grasp. 

“You’re finally awake…”  
“Um… Master Illumi—“  
“You may call me Illumi…”  
“Huh?”  
“When we are alone you may refer to me by my name.”  
“But that isn't in the contract.”  
“I can add it in.”  
“What time is it… Illumi?”  
“It doesn't matter.”

You wanted to call him by his name before but now that you finally had his permission it felt strange. It felt like something you shouldn't do. Also, what did he mean by it doesn't matter? You had a schedule to keep to!

“I have to get back to my job.”  
“Your job is to cater to the needs of the Zoldyck family. You’re doing that.”  
“I’m going to get in trouble.”  
“By who? I am your superior.” 

Illumi finally let go of you and you sighed. You grabbed your clothes and began to get dressed.

“Gotoh is already suspicious of me,” you informed Illumi.  
“He isn't anyone we need to worry about. The servants are easy to silence.” 

At some point somehow you transcended your role of a servant. Illumi spoke of them as if they were separate from you. You also didn't like his implication that they were disposable. That was the attitude his mother had towards the servants. 

“What am I to you..?” you asked unsure.  
“Hmm?”  
“I’m just a little confused…”  
“You’re my toy, isn't it obvious?” 

While that normally would have been hurtful and maybe even angered you, something about that wasn't believable. Illumi spoke with the ironic cheeriness he always spoke with but it wasn't convincing. 

“I really do have to go now.”  
“I can have your assignments rearranged so you can stay closer to me.”  
“Master Illumi— I mean— Illumi—” you sighed feeling a little conflicted. “While I appreciate that, I like my current assignments. I want to take care of Master Kalluto and do my duty. I’m more than happy to spend time with you but it can’t be all the time.” 

While it was true it was unavoidably disappointing. Illumi reluctantly dismissed you and you left once again feeling the euphoria leave you. The feeling came and went with every session.

“You forgot something,” you heard Illumi call out to you. 

Turning around you saw Illumi standing in the hallway holding your butler’s pendent. You walked back towards him and thanked him. He took the risk of putting the pendent on for you. Your cheeks turned pink when he caressed your cheek and then kissed you. What was he thinking doing this in the hallway!? It was hard for you to be angry with him. It was a kiss unlike the others. It was gentler than all the other times he kissed you but still had that familiar tinge of authority to it. It was the sort of kiss that said “don’t go.” 

Something about being in the hallway made things more exciting. Anyone could walk by at any moment and catch both of you. Pulling away you saw one of the cameras pointed directly at you two. It was already too late. 

“Illumi.”  
“I know,” he said calmly. “We’ve been seen.”  
“What do we do?”  
“I’ll take care of it.” 

Illumi instructed you to go about your day normally and not to worry. While you trusted him you had overwhelming anxiety looming over your head. That was careless of you two. Now, it was up to him to fix the mess. Milluki saw the kiss on his screens and rejoiced in the fact that he was right. He knew something weird was going on with his older brother. It was also strange how you would disappear from the footage whenever you came close to Illumi’s room. 

It was a rare day for Milluki since he seldom had the upper hand. Illumi was the eldest and ruled his siblings. Killua was the most beloved and Kalluto got a fair amount of attention himself. Milluki was the one who got the least attention of them all. Now, he would use this to his advantage. For the first time, he had leverage over his older brother. Milluki quickly started to make a copy of the video recording while shoving potato chips into his mouth for fuel. Suddenly, Milluki felt a presence behind him. Illumi leaned over his little brother with the stealth expected from someone of his caliber. 

“What are you doing, Milluki?” Illumi asked creepily.  
“When— How did you get in here? I have a security system, you know!”  
“Child’s play.”  
“Hmph. Well, I caught you on camera.”  
“Yes, I know.”

Despite being a few clicks away from being exposed Illumi was incredibly calm. He portrayed control over the situation even if he didn't necessarily have it. Milluki swiveled his chair around to face his brother. 

“You didn't tell me you had a butler girlfriend! I bet you do really kinky stuff too… Like maid dresses and cat ears and stuff.”  
“…”  
“Oh man, Papa is gonna kill you. Mama too.”  
“…”  
“Unless I don’t tell them…” Milluki smirked. “And that’s a pretty big secret so It’ll cost you.”  
“Milluki, before you say another word I want you to think very carefully. Do you think it’s smart to try to blackmail your big brother?” 

Illumi smiled very slightly as a menacing Aura surrounded him. Milluki began to sweat and took a large gulp of his soda before wiping his mouth with his sleeve. 

“Y-You don’t scare me.”  
“Huh, that must explain why you're sweating.”  
“I-I’m not— It’s hot in here okay!”  
“That’s quite an impressive figurine collection you have, Milluki.”

Milluki swiveled his chair in the direction of his collection. He admired the various anime figurines, some lewder than others. 

“Some of those are rare, aren't they?” Illumi asked casually.  
“Yeah, I got some of these at the auction In YorkNew and oh!” Milluki pointed to a figurine. “And I had to kill a guy to get that one.”  
“It would be a shame if something happened to them…”  
“What are you saying..?”  
“Nothing, just that they’re quite fragile and can break easily. You have to take care of them, Milluki.”  
“Don’t touch my collection!”  
“But that’s not even what you care about most of all… I know you’ve been sleeping with a body pillow for some time now…”

Milluki immediately grabbed the nearby body pillow with a cute blonde anime high school girl on it. He held it away from his older brother protectively.

“Don’t you dare hurt Suki-chan! I’ll kill you!”  
“Well, if you stay quiet you won’t have anything to worry about.”  
“Fine! You win, okay! I won’t say anything!”  
“What a good little brother…”  
“Just get out already!”  
“Delete the footage.”  
“Okay! Whatever!”

Illumi walked backward maintaining frightening eye contact with his younger brother. It was incredibly creepy. Milluki shivered and hugged his body pillow thankful she wasn't a casualty in all of this. Illumi was victorious in his attempt to intimidate Milluki. Now, the cameras wouldn’t be an issue. Later that day Illumi met with you to inform you everything was taken care of. 

“So, did he say anything?” you asked.  
“Milluki won’t talk.”  
“How do you know?”  
“He won’t.”  
“What did you do..?”  
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.” 

That sent a chill down your spine. Even you were a little afraid of what Illumi was capable of. He was a force to be reckoned with. 

“We’re lucky it was Milluki. Anyone else would have been much more difficult to keep quiet.”  
“What about Gotoh?”  
“I could kill him,” Illumi said casually.  
“Don’t,” you sternly responded. “Master Killua would be upset.”  
“Kil would get over it.”  
“You would actually kill him without any hesitation..?”  
“I don’t like it when others get in the way of what I want," Illumi plainly said. "Those that stand in my way tend to not live long.”  
“No, you can’t. I’ll handle him myself.”  
“Are you sure you want to do that?”  
“Yes.” 

Illumi agreed to let you handle Gotoh yourself. Several days passed and you didn't know exactly what to do about him. He was watching you constantly. He still believed you and Kazuo were lovers and listened closely to all your conversations. Your options were limited. He was going to find out eventually but the trouble was that he was not someone easily intimidated. The only thing he cared about was the family and Master Killua. You reluctantly decided that there was no choice but to appeal to his better nature. 

“Gotoh, I need to tell you something, in private.”  
“I see, very well.” 

Gotoh followed you to an empty classroom in the butler’s quarters. Kazuo saw the strange interaction and followed you both. He entered a state of Zetsu crouching beside the door to listen to the conversation. If you were to use Eagle Eye now you would find him. Kazuo was confident that you wouldn't and took his chances. 

“You were right to believe I have a lover,” you said.  
“Nothing gets past me,” Gotoh said pushing his glasses up. “I knew you were up to no good. You and—”  
“It isn't who you think it is.” 

You took a deep breath and revealed the truth to Gotoh and he turned white. That, he wasn't expecting. You explained you were bound by contract but you didn't go into detail about what was stated in the contract. You wanted to spare yourself and him further embarrassment. 

“And you told me this why?” Gotoh asked. “I assume you know what I must do now.”  
“Revealing this information will lead to your death, not mine.”  
“You’re threatening me?”  
“No, I’m warning you,” you explained. “I’ve come to look up to you so I don’t want you to get yourself killed. I know you’re just doing your job but this time please look the other way.”  
“The level of imprudence astounds.”  
“Um… What does that mean?”  
“It means you’re an idiot!” 

Gotoh began to harshly scold you the way a father would. It was a long and heated lecture you had to sit down to endure. Even Kazuo had to pull his ear away at some point. Eventually, he ran out of steam and got to the point. 

“I will keep this to myself since it involves a member of the family but I don’t condone your actions. I condemn them. Also, don't be so confident that revealing such information won't lead to your death. I’m certain it will.”  
“I know, It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”  
“Idiotic.”  
“Have you ever loved anyone before, Gotoh?”  
“That is irrelevant and I wouldn't define your situation as ‘love.’ Make no mistake, you are an activity for Master Illumi’s amusement.”  
“That isn't true.”  
“You will see.” 

Gotoh walked towards the door and threw it open exiting with disgust. Kazuo was long gone by then. While your secret was safe with Gotoh, you had to withstand his judgment. It was possible he lost some respect for you and that was disappointing. He didn't understand the nature of your relationship with Illumi but neither did you. He was full of mixed signals and it was hard to tell if you were just there for his entertainment or if you meant more than that. You wanted to believe it was the latter. 

Meanwhile, Kazuo learning about your relationship with Illumi was just another ace up his sleeve. He thought about all the players in his game. He had your trust, Kikyo’s favor, and Killua’s curiosity. He had the mistrust of Gotoh, Canary, Amane, and Tsubone, and it wasn’t clear what Illumi thought of him. With this revelation, it was time to start making some bold moves.


	9. Players and Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the chapter many of you were waiting for. Hate him or love him here's our antagonist's story.

The next day you found out that you were reassigned and you would no longer be taking care of Kalluto. You also no longer had authority over Kazuo and he was placed under Gotoh. You told Illumi you didn't want any changes made to your schedule but he didn't listen to you. 

“You’ve been reassigned to me,” Illumi informed you.  
“Aren’t you too old for a caretaker?” you sarcastically commented.  
“I don’t need you to take care of me. You will be my personal assistant and you’ll come with me when I leave the estate. You will be with me at all times.”  
“You want me to follow you around..?”  
“Yes.”  
“Illumi—Master Illumi— That’s ridiculous. Kalluto needs me here.”  
“He will have a different attendant now.”  
“What about Kazuo?”  
“He is Gotoh’s responsibility.”  
“…”  
“Your only job is to focus on me.”  
“…”  
“And we’re leaving now. I have a job to do.”  
“…”  
“Let’s go.” 

You were annoyed with Illumi since he didn’t stop to think for a moment about what you wanted. You had no choice but to go with him. It was so abrupt that you didn't even have time to sort things out. Illumi assured you everything was already taken care of and practically whisked you away. On the other hand, this was the first time you were going outside of the estate since you got there. That was kind of exciting and since you weren't at the estate things could be less formal. Then again, when it came to his job Illumi was quite serious. You didn't know what to expect from him on this trip. 

The reassignment was a curveball that Kazuo didn't expect but he stayed calm. He believed that he still had the upper hand. He knew your secret and he knew Gotoh was covering for you. Still, he preferred the way things were. 

“I think you’ll find me to be a lot less lenient than your former teacher,” Gotoh said sternly. “I will put you through hell.” 

Kazuo hated Gotoh with a passion and being civilized with him was becoming increasingly difficult. Maintaining his entire act was becoming too much to endure. After two and a half years of playing the role of the good servant, he had to remind himself who he was. He couldn't contain his bloodlust for much longer. However, there was still a lot to do before then. Gotoh gave him various painfully annoying tasks to perform. He gave him triple the amount of work to do than anyone else. 

In between his demeaning duties, Kazuo went to Illumi’s room to retrieve the contract you signed and put it in his breast pocket. Kazuo returned to the butler’s quarters and passed by a female butler he had already marked some time ago. It wasn't very difficult for him to charm others, particularly women. He had marked quite a few of the butlers. He targeted the ones in training and his classmates. One of the trainees he hadn't marked was Canary. He found her standing on a chair putting a book away in the library. 

“Do you need help, Canary?”  
“Keep your distance,” she warned him.  
“Hmph.” 

Canary tried to reach higher but the chair toppled over. Kazuo came to her side seemingly concerned about her well being. He grasped her shoulder and she swatted his hand away. 

“I’m fine. Don’t touch me.”  
“Too late you brat,” Kazuo thought to himself. 

Canary stood and dusted herself off. When she walked away a tattoo appeared on the back of her neck. She had a strong mind but her brain was still developing due to her age. If she was an adult like Gotoh the chances of making a mark would be nearly impossible. Shortly after discovering he could not mark Killua, he attempted to do the same to Kikyo. A slip of the hand when handing her the teacup was sufficient. A mark appeared and then disappeared. Her mind and Nen ability were stronger than he thought it was. As for the rest of the members of the family that only left Milluki and Kalluto. None of the others were possible.

Milluki was intelligent but he was greedy and selfish and those types usually were easy to mark. Kalluto was young but sharp like Illumi. It was difficult to get to Kalluto with him clinging to you or Kikyo constantly. Kazuo tried Milluki first with the excuse that his mother sent him. 

“Master Illumi is currently absent so your mother would like you to monitor Master Killua’s progress.”  
“Why do I have to do that? It’s so annoying…”  
“You don’t like your siblings very much, do you Master Milluki?”  
“Big brother Illumi is okay… When he isn't bossing me around… It’s Kil that pisses me off! He’s no good! I keep saying that but no one is listening to me.”  
“It must be frustrating…”  
“Everyone likes him best! He’s too soft. I’m a way better assassin than him.”  
“You could always prove you’re superior one by challenging him.”  
“Are you crazy? He’s way too unpredictable…”  
“Then, you’ll always be at the bottom.” 

Kazuo's words were cold and sharp like a knife. Milluki stood from his chair facing the blonde butler. He clenched his hands into a fist.

“Say that again, I dare you!”  
“Don’t get up so fast, you’ll fall down.” 

Milluki slapped the taller man with one swift motion. Kazuo turned his head to the side satisfied with the outcome. 

“Get out of my room before I show you what I’m really capable of!”  
“Of course, Master Milluki.” 

His ability worked just as well if someone touched him first. Kazuo was not a stranger to pain and didn't mind it in order to accomplish his goals. A tattoo appeared behind the teen’s neck and was strengthened by his selfish desires and resentment. Negative emotion worked to fuel the bond between the tattoo and the mind. 

“You’re my puppet now, you slob,” Kazuo thought to himself as he left the room. 

Kalluto’s new attendant suffered the same issue you suffered from, separating Kikyo and Kalluto. This time, Kazuo grabbed him forcing them to separate. The female butler thanked him as a tattoo appeared behind Kalluto’s neck. That was easier than he thought it would be. All of the pieces were perfectly in place. Kazuo had everything he needed to start the takeover. It took a while but he had full confidence that he could single handily take down the most fearsome family of assassins in the world. There was just one thing Kazuo forgot about. 

When walking from the family home to the butler’s quarters a familiar face stood in his way. Killua blocked his way with his arms crossed. 

“Hey, did you forget about me?”  
“Master Killua—“  
“Why did you stop talking to me?”  
“Hmm?”  
“You said we were friends and then you stopped talking to me… Did I make you mad or something?”  
“No, of course not. It seems like you’re the one mad at me…”  
“No way… I don’t even care…” 

Kazuo crouched down so he was at eye level with the child. Killua turned his head to the side pouting as any child would. 

“I never told you that story, did I?”  
“You can quit saying that! I don’t care anymore! And It’s obvious you’re never gonna tell me anything…”  
“I guess now is a good time.”  
“Now?”  
“If you don’t have anything better to do that is… I’m sure your mother is looking for you somewhere.”  
“Alright fine, but make it quick…”  
“Pay attention Killua… Because this is the origin story of the greatest treasure Hunter that ever lived.” 

Kazuo began to narrate his own life story for Killua starting at the beginning. He spoke about himself as if he were a great hero from a legend. He went many years back to his childhood. In a far away city that almost always rained he lived with his mother, father, and three siblings. His birth name was Ouzak before he changed it. His eldest brother was a young adult who worked as a rat catcher at the local butcher shop. He was a handsome young man with glasses, brown eyes, and blonde hair done in a short braid. Kazuo assisted his older brother in this job. His other brother was a teenager who repaired cars with their father. His sister was just a little older than him and she helped her mother with creating textiles. They were a hard working family and a religious one. 

They attended Mass every Sunday as a family and Kazuo was taught the prayers and hymns although he didn't know what they meant. His eldest brother took the responsibility of educating him about God’s teachings. It was something Kazuo thought about a lot as a child. He formed his own ideas and philosophies over time. One day while hunting the rats he asked his big brother a question he wasn't prepared to answer. 

“Brother, are we poor?”  
“…Yes, we are poor.”  
“Why?”  
“Well, life can be unfortunate and unfair but mom and dad do their best.”  
“Why don’t we just take other people’s stuff?”  
“Because that’s wrong, Ouzak. God would frown upon that.”  
“God would forgive us. You told me that god’s son died for our sins, right? And he’ll forgive us no matter what we do. So we can do whatever we want.”  
“Little brother, that is a very dangerous thought.”  
“But it’s true.”  
“No, that isn't true,” his brother sternly corrected him. “There are still consequences for our actions. Jesus died to right the wrong humanity made. It was to mend our relationship with our almighty Father. It is not an excuse to act how we please.”  
“I still don’t care,” he said coldly. “God is already disappointed so it really doesn't matter. We’ve already been punished. What else is there to be afraid of?” 

His older brother silently observed him as the little boy brought a shovel down on a rat scurrying by. He cut the rat’s head clean off. He was stunned by his little brother’s coldness.

“I got it.”  
“Ouzak, when you just killed that rat… Did you feel any remorse?”  
“No, why would I?”  
“It was a living creature.”  
“So?” 

His older brother was disturbed but intrigued by his peculiar way of thinking. He began to read books in the library about the human psyche. He started to become obsessed with the subject. When Kazuo started to become more violent he wanted to know why. 

“Why did you pull your sister’s hair?” his brother asked him.  
“Because it hurts when I do it.”  
“Why do you want to cause sissy pain?”  
“Because I can. It’s easy and it’s fun.”  
“You choose to be violent simply because you can?” 

Kazuo’s brother continued his work viewing him as a case study and less as a sibling. Meanwhile, his parents tried their own method for his violent behavior. A priest came to the house to exorcise him. Kazuo was restrained as the priest recited prayers, waved around the cross, and wore a special amulet. His brother disagreed with this method and wanted to try his approach. 

“Mother, Ouzak doesn't need a priest, he needs a doctor.”  
“No, the devil will come out of him.”  
“He isn't possessed, he’s disturbed. He acts on impulses and urges. I know you refuse to take modern medicine but listen to me.” 

His mother and father refused to listen to the eldest brother until the exorcisms proved to be in vain. Kazuo continued to behave irrationally despite their best efforts. Kazuo was kept strapped to the bed at all times. He was never allowed outside or around other children. His big brother sat at his bedside explaining his new approach. 

“Little brother, I’m going to do a series of experiments on you. I need to understand how you think and correct it.”  
“I hate you…”  
“I’m trying to help you, Ouzak. You’ll thank me later.” 

His older brother believed what he was doing was right for the sake of his family. He began to conduct his treatment on Kazuo using methods ranging from shock therapy, bloodletting, isolation, and conditioning. This went on for years until Kazuo realized his only choice was to play the part he was expected to play. Kazuo had an ‘awakening’ and repented for all his wrongdoings. 

Only then, did his older brother release him from treatment. He was so proud of himself that he began to write a paper on his experience with his little brother. He went from the butcher shop’s rat catcher to a scholar. Kazuo became very good at acting but always had his violent urges lingering in his mind. He had to suppress them until the time was right. He attended church with his family and helped with dinner. He was cured, so his brother thought. 

When he was ten years old Kazuo mixed the rat poison in with the stew right before it was served. Their father said a prayer over dinner and they broke their bread as Kazuo waited patiently. He muttered the prayer under his breath backwards as if it were an incantation. Soon, the family began to cough holding their stomachs in pain. The little boy got up from the table leaving the family to die. His eldest brother fell out of his chair trying to bring him back. Kazuo looked coldly at his older brother helplessly on the floor.

“You can’t change me.”  
“…”  
“You can’t control me.”  
“…”  
“I’m free now.” 

Kazuo’s older brother writhing in pain on the floor held his hand out to his little brother. He tried to reach for him refusing to accept his fate. The little boy smirked and turned his back on him and the family. After that Kazuo lived by his philosophy stealing and killing to his heart’s content. Eventually, he took the Hunter Exam and became a true Treasure Hunter. However, the treasure was just a perk in the lifestyle that he always wanted to live.

That wasn't the story Killua was expecting. In his mind, he glamorized the life he thought Kazuo lived. A life free of rules and full of adventure was just a fantasy for him. Now, he realized it was much grimmer than he thought. 

“I wanted to hear about an adventure or something… Why did you tell me about that..?”  
“I don’t know, maybe it will inspire you.” 

Killua was at a loss for words and knew exactly what Kazuo meant. The blonde put his hand on his shoulder in a brotherly fashion. 

“You have to be the master of your own fate, Killua.”  
“…”  
“I told you my philosophy, if you want something, take it. No matter what is… Even if it seems unattainable.”  
“…”  
“If you’re unhappy you should do something about it. No one is going to give you what you want because no one cares about what you want.”  
“…”  
“Especially not your older brother. Illumi is what all big brothers are, controlling, selfish, manipulative, and a loyal dog to the parents.”  
“…”  
“If you were my little brother I would treat you better. You and I would go on adventures. I would never hurt you or expect more out of you than you were capable of.”  
“…”  
“I know you have it in you. I’ll help you. You and Allu—”  
“Shut up,” Killua snapped.  
“I’m only saying what you’re thinking… Your mother already told me of the various times you tried to kill her. You’re holding yourself back. What are you waiting for, Killua?”  
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore…” Killua muttered.  
“Killua—”  
“Just stay away from me!” 

Killua ran off angry, confused, and just a little frightened by what Kazuo had revealed to him. Kazuo rose from his crouching portion as a smirk crept onto his face. Suddenly, a coin hit his right eye at an incredibly fast speed. Kazuo grunted from the initial impact but he didn't scream or cry in pain. He placed a hand over his eye as the blood began to seep through his fingers. 

“You heard the boy,” Gotoh said approaching Kazuo. “Stay away from him.” 

Kazuo looked at Gotoh realizing he was the one who shot him in the eye. He didn't even attempt to hide his intentions this time. 

“Oh, It’s you… I guess you heard my little story?”  
“Every word.”  
“What did you think..?” Kazuo smiled through the pain. “It’s a good tale isn't it?”  
“Cheap tricks like poison won’t work on the Zoldyck family, not that I would even give you the chance,” Gotoh prepared both of his thumbs to fire more coins. “The coins in my pocket have been waiting to decorate your face for some time now.”  
“I’ll forgive you for the first time, but I wouldn’t try that again…”  
“If you fight me you will lose. I guarantee it.”  
“I don’t have to fight you,” Kazuo confidently stated. “My Nen ability is called Taboo Tattoo and there are several people on this estate under my control, including members of the family. The marking hasn't been activated yet but once under my command I could do anything to them. I could command them to kill themselves or someone else.”  
“Tch. How do I know you’re not bluffing?”  
“Take the risk and find out.”  
“Only a coward takes hostages.”

Gotoh held his fire as Kazuo smiled walking closer to him with his hand still covering his bloodied eye. The butler didn’t move an inch as the pirate leaned in close to him. 

“You act like you’re in charge but you aren’t. You have no power.”  
“Don’t be so sure about that.”  
“You’re so loyal to these people who could care less whether you lived or died. You’re a slave, don’t you know that? Where’s the pride in that?”  
“I dedicate my life to the Zoldyck family.”  
“What a sad life… I rather be dead.”  
“What do you hope to gain?” Gotoh asked sharply. “Wealth? Fame?”  
“It’s true, I do want the family’s wealth and that little wish granter could be of use to me but there is something I value even more than money… Nothing brings me pleasure like seeing a well fortified wall crumble to dust. Every wall has cracks, you know. It doesn't matter what it’s made of. You just have to exploit those cracks.”  
“You will not succeed.”  
“If you want to protect the family then stay out of my way, Gotoh.”

Kazuo removed his hand revealing the bloodied eye socket with Gotoh’s coin lodged into it. He gave Gotoh one last smile before turning and leaving him with a dreadful feeling. Feeling helpless angered him beyond belief. For the first time, he felt as if failed in his duty to protect the Zoldyck family. 

Meanwhile, Zeno was in his room sitting on a luxurious couch casually drinking a glass of wine. He briefly felt a menacing Aura even from all that distance. He was reminded of an interaction he had with his eldest grandchild years ago before you even started working for the family. 

The elder sat at an old and ornate chessboard across from Illumi who was looking to the side. He seemed disinterested in the game with his grandfather. 

“Watch me closely, Illumi.”  
“Why?”  
“So you can understand my strategy.”  
“I’m not worried.”  
“Well, you have the confidence of your father I’ll give you that.” 

Zeno made his move while Illumi stayed seemingly bored. Without looking Illumi made his move and got up from his seat. 

“Checkmate,” Illumi said with no enthusiasm.  
“…”  
“Can I go now? Kil needs me.” 

Zeno looked at the chessboard verifying that Illumi won. He shook his head and crossed his arms amused by his Grandson’s effortless intelligence. 

“Heh, funny, Milluki thinks he is the smartest of the Zoldyck children but you could give him a run for his money, Illumi.”  
“I’m not interested in being the smartest or the strongest. I’m interested in being the most efficient. If my opponent underestimates me, that’s their mistake.”  
“Indeed…” 

In the present, Zeno put down his wine glass and looked into the distance. One of the smaller Zoldyck hounds in the room began to bark sensing the feeling as well. 

“Make your move, Grandson,” Zeno thought to himself. “Your opponent is getting impatient.”


	10. Night Out

On the airship, Illumi wouldn't say where you two were going or what the job was. All he said was to stay close to him. You weren’t allowed to wander around not that you would. Your job was to protect him and so you stayed alert. Illumi silently looked out the window sipping a drink. He strangely asked if you wanted something from the bar and you respectfully declined. You stood behind him keeping an eye on the passengers. 

The airship entered the Yorbian Continent and was headed for Yorknew City. It was almost September and the city held annual auctions from September 1st to September 10th. The city was practically controlled by the mafia community. The Zoldyck family found themselves quite busy around this time of year. Businessmen from around the world tried to off each other to get richer and the politicians did the same. They were men very much like your deceased father.

When you arrived at your destination Illumi silently guided you to a particular part of the city. It was a lively little area inspired by Jappon and became a place populated by tourists over time. There were many restaurants with authentic cuisine such as sushi and onigiri. There were many shops and street performers who contributed to the atmosphere with music and performative dance using fans. Illumi stopped at the entrance of this section of the city. 

“Alright Master Illumi, I’m here to aid you,” you said. “Where is the target?”  
“Oh, you think I need help with my job?”   
“Isn’t that why I’m here?”   
“No.”   
“…”   
“I never said I needed your help”   
“…”   
“Here,” Illumi said handing you a plastic card. “Go shopping.”  
“Um…”   
“It doesn't have a limit so buy whatever you want. For clothing, I like blue and green the most.”   
“Sir—“   
“Well, you’re not wearing the butler’s suit to dinner, are you? I guess you could… But I thought you’d like to wear something else for a change.”   
“Sir… I am very confused… Is this a date?”   
“Meet me at 8:00 p.m at this exact spot.”   
“Uh—“ 

You looked down at the card and then looked up but Illumi was gone. He vanished without a sound. He wanted you to go shopping? But your job was to aid and protect him. And what was this about dinner? He wanted to have dinner later? You had so many questions… But you received your odd orders and so you went shopping. 

Meanwhile, Illumi went to do the job he was hired to do. He perched on the roof of a building watching what appeared to be a ramen shop. It was a front for a very rich businessman from Jappon. Recently he crossed one of the members of the mafia community who was Illumi’s current client. He waited for him to come out with great patience. Suddenly, he sensed another person behind him but didn't bother to turn around. 

“Oh, you’re here too?” Illumi said unenthusiastically.   
“I was in the neighborhood~” 

Illumi remained focused as the flamboyant magician approached him and sat at the ledge of the building. Hisoka popped a stick of gum into his mouth and offered another stick to the assassin. 

“Bungee Gum?”   
“Any particular reason you’re harassing me while I stalk my target?”   
“If you don’t like my company you should just say so~”   
“Well, since you’re here, I do have a question for you.”   
“Mhm… So mysterious. Now I’m interested.”   
“Do you know anything about a man named Kazuo?”   
“A ‘friend’ of yours?”   
“Not really.”   
“Hmm…” 

Hisoka took a moment to think and blew an obnoxious bubble with his gum. Even that didn't distract Illumi. 

“No, I don’t know that name,” Hisoka finally answered.   
“What about The Black Bandanna Buccaneers?”  
“Now that rings a bell… Nasty bunch so I’ve heard, but there's nothing special about them, and to compare them to the Phantom Troupe would be an insult. They go from one island to another killing everything in sight regardless of what’s there. Sure they take whatever riches they can find but the real thrill for them is burning down those sorry villages.”  
“The Captain has been pretending to be a Zoldyck servant for some time now,” Illumi casually said. “He’s trying to destroy my family.”   
“How exciting…” Hisoka said sarcastically. “Sorry if I’m not all that interested in your family drama.”  
“I only brought it up to see if you knew each other.”   
“If we knew each other he wouldn't be alive, and I only keep company that can offer me something in return.”   
“…”  
“Killing defenseless civilians could never satisfy me. It’s the equivalent of going to a preschool and slaughtering toddlers. Where’s the fun in that?”   
“…”  
“Those who pick on the weak do it because they want the illusion of being powerful. A true fighter strives for a challenge. Your ‘friend’ sounds pathetic. He’s no more threatening than a grade school bully.”   
“I agree.”

He didn't agree with Hisoka often but his assessment of Kazuo without meeting him was spot on. It echoed many things Illumi thought himself. While Hisoka was also psychotic he had different philosophies that clashed with Kazuo’s. Hisoka didn't believe in such mindless violence and was more selective with who he killed. What they did have in common was the inability to conceal their bloodlust for long. It was a part of their identity. Illumi knew Kazuo couldn't keep his masquerade forever. 

“Do you know what I love most of all from a good fight?” Hisoka rhetorically asked Illumi.  
“I don’t really care actually.”   
“I love that look of surprise on my opponent’s face… Just when they think they have me cornered I reveal my hand. The more arrogant the opponent the more wonderful it is… Ahh… I’m getting excited just thinking about it.” 

Illumi noticed a few men in suits come out of the ramen shop. His target was in the middle of them getting a cigar from inside his suit. One of the other men with him lit the cigar for him. 

“My target is here.”   
“Aw, back to work already?”   
“And don’t bother me later. I have plans.”   
“Oh? What kind of plans?” 

Illumi jumped off the roof not bothering to give Hisoka an answer. It was none of his business. While Illumi did his job and fulfilled his contract you spent the day exploring YorkNew city. It was as glamorous as it was corrupt. It was hard to not be seduced by such a city and you would need more than just one day to truly explore it. You bought a short black dress which you intended to wear to dinner and heels to match. You put the butler suit and shoes into the shopping bag that you carried around.

For the first time in a long time, you wore something other than that weighted suit. You got so used to the suit that currently it felt like you were wearing nothing at all. When it was time you waited for him at the entrance to the subsection of the city. You knew how important punctuality was to him so you came a little early. Ten minutes past 8:00 and you began to worry. Not only was Illumi late but there was a creepy man with round pins sticking out of his head was staring at you. He had been staring at you for some time and you decided to confront the man.

“Um… Can I help you?”   
“…”  
“Hello?”  
“…”   
“Wait—Master Illumi? Is that you?” 

The possibility of him being Illumi randomly occurred to you, it was more of a hunch than anything. The man’s Aura felt too familiar to be a stranger. The needle man in front of you nodded creepily. You were right. 

“Sir… Why are you disguised?”   
“Follow me,” he said. 

His voice was much different from his real voice. You trusted Illumi with all your heart and follow him. He brought you to an expensive restaurant that served traditional cuisine from Jappon. Some people found it humorous that such a beautiful woman was in the company of such an ugly man. Even if this was his true appearance you would still care for him. You believed it was what was inside that mattered. Both of you were given menus and you ordered your dinner. The dinner was a little awkward… And you weren't quite sure what the purpose of Illumi’s disguise was. Once the food came you leaned in. 

“I would prefer to dine with you, Sir.”  
“…”  
“The real you.”  
“…”  
“There’s no reason to hide.” 

Gittarackur got up without an explanation and walked away. You were even more confused now and wondered if the date was over. Also was this even a date? Illumi was a very strange man who offered very little explanation for his actions. When you stood he returned but not as Gittarackur. Illumi was himself and acted as if nothing had happened.

“Sorry I’m late,” He said sitting down. “I see you already ordered for both of us.”   
“But… You— He—You’re both…”   
“Is something the matter?”  
“Never mind…” you said sitting back down. “Nice to see you, Sir.”   
“You picked a nice outfit.”   
“You like it?”   
“Yes, but it is simple. I told you that you could buy whatever you wanted.”   
“Um… I wasn't comfortable overspending, Sir.”   
“I told you there was no limit. Money isn't an issue for me.”   
“I never realized you were so extravagant…”   
“I can be.” 

Illumi sipped the sake he ordered and picked up the chopsticks. He glanced up at you before eating. 

“Do you like that?”   
“Hmm?”   
“Do you like it when I show off? Should I spoil you more?”   
“Um… I just want you to be yourself, Sir. You don’t need to impress me.”   
“Okay.” 

This was just too strange. While he was always eccentric… This was different. He was being overbearing, overprotective, and over the top. When leaving the restaurant a man on the street whistled and catcalled at you. Before you knew it the man was on the ground with a needle middle in his throat. It was so quick that even Eagle Eye might have missed it. However, you knew exactly who did it. You turned in Illumi’s direction a little annoyed. The man wasn't dead but he was gasping for air. 

“This way,” he said taking your hand.   
“Illumi…”   
“Come.” 

Illumi escorted you into a luxury car that was waiting for both of you. There was a barrier between the backseat and the driver with a small window to slide. Illumi instructed him to take both of you to a hotel. You knew exactly where this evening was going when he put his hand on your bare thigh slowly sliding it up your dress.

“Can’t wait?” you jokingly asked.   
“Why should I?” 

He pulled you onto his lap for better access while kissing your neck. This was certainly something you two never did before. It seemed Illumi liked the danger of getting caught but the situation at home became far too dangerous. It also annoyed him how heavily surveilled you both were. Although he took care of Milluki and his cameras it still irritated him. He wanted time with you outside of the estate. That’s what all of this was about. You felt the familiar sharp tingle on your inner thigh and knew he changed his hand under your dress. 

“Don’t ruin my underwear this time,” you warned him. “I need that.”   
“I’m not making any promises…” 

While you weren't restrained this time he still held you in place tightly. You felt multiple scratches being made on your thigh and this time you had the freedom to react. You grabbed Illumi’s hair pulling roughly. He stopped kissing your neck for a moment and looked up at you silently. You froze for a moment worried you did something you weren't supposed to do. 

“I’m sorry, Sir. I won’t do that again…”   
“Did I say I didn't like it?”   
“No.”   
“Then do it again.” 

You obeyed and he loosened his grip allowing you to you readjust yourself. Now you were facing him. This was the first and only time Illumi ever let you be on top. You kissed him lacing your hands through his hair and pulling roughly. There was no reaction to this pain other than his increased arousal. Suddenly, Illumi’s phone began to ring and you reluctantly let go of him. It could have been his father so it wasn't worth ignoring. You got off of his lap and took your place at his side, fixing your dress. Illumi picked up the phone and then held it out to you.

“It’s for you,” he said impassively.   
“Me?”   
“Yes.” 

You took the phone with hesitation since you didn't know who would be calling you. You didn't have any friends and your responsibilities were given away. It was quite puzzling. 

“Hello?”   
“Keeping Master Illumi happy, I assume?” A familiar voice taunted.   
“Kazuo?” you asked recognizing his voice. “Why are you calling me?”   
“I just wanted to warn you ‘Ma’am.’ I know your dirty secret and I have your contract.”   
“…”  
“You already know that If the family finds out about this you’ll be executed and I can make that happen.”  
“…”   
“So, here’s your choice. Kill Illumi to save yourself or wait for them to kill you. Either way, one of you dies.”  
“I would never harm a member of the family,” you sharply responded.   
“You don’t actually think he cares about you, do you?”   
“You don’t know anything about us.”  
“Even Gotoh knows you’re just a plaything. You went from being a virgin to a slut real quick.” 

You were angry and you gripped the phone hard enough to dent it. Since you were an Enhancer, strength wasn't one of your weaknesses. Illumi tapped you on the shoulder asking for the phone. You gave it to him, wanting to apologize for damaging it but nothing came out. Illumi took the phone and leaned back against the leather seat crossing one leg over the other with authority. 

“Speak,” he commanded.   
“Oh, ‘Master’ Illumi having fun are we?”   
“…”  
“I wonder what your parents would say if they knew you were screwing a servant.”   
“…”  
“You think you’re so great but they aren't impressed. No matter what you do you’ll never be good enough. You’re a disappointment, but not as much of a disappointment as Milluki.”   
“…”   
“Speaking of Milluki, he’s under my control now. So is Kalluto. Not that you care, of course, the only one you care about is Killua. Too bad he hates all of you.”   
“You seem to have something against my family, Kazuo.” 

Illumi looked to the side seeing you grip your fists tightly while looking down. Strands of hair fell in front of your tearful face. Illumi thoughtfully tucked your hair behind your ear as he spoke to Kazuo coldly.

“We should have done this in person but you’re too afraid of me to do that.”   
“You think I’m afraid of you?” Kazuo retorted.   
“You could have tried to kill me yourself instead of playing these mind games. You went after the people you think I care about. That’s childish.”  
“I don’t care how I get what I want. It only matters that I get it.”   
“Huh… I guess that means you weren't pretending to be an idiot. You really are one.”  
“Tch.”  
“You should escape the estate while you can but even if you did run… I would find you,” Illumi eerily threatened. “I always find my target. No matter where you go… No matter what you do… I’ll find you.”   
“Not if you’re dead.”

Before Illumi could respond Kazuo hung up on him so he could have the last word. He put his phone away unbothered by the conversation that just occurred. 

“Hmm… He hung up. I must have scared him.”  
“Illumi…” 

You grasped his attention again while a tear fell down your cheek. He couldn't understand what got you so upset. 

“You’re crying,” he coldly observed. “Why?”   
“Because I was stupid… Everyone told me Kazuo was no good. I kept insisting they were wrong… Why couldn't I see it? No, I did see it… Deep down I knew too… So why couldn't I admit it?”   
“The answer is simple,” Illumi explained. “You put your emotions into things. You believe in the good of others and that makes it difficult for you to kill once you’ve looked into the eyes of your target. You would not make a very good assassin.”   
“…”   
“They’re habits you share with Kil. I’m trying to get him out of those bad habits.”  
“…”   
“You shouldn't cry. That is a useless thing to do.” 

Illumi’s cold but true words didn't help you at all. You grasped the hem of your dress in frustration. There was no way you could do what Kazuo wanted you to do. You would end your own life first. 

“Illumi… Sir… I want you to kill me, please.”   
“…”   
“Kill me so I don’t have to kill you.”  
“…”   
“I breached the contract… I told Gotoh so he wouldn't find out himself and tell your parents. The penalty for speaking of our relationship is death, right?”   
“…”   
“I made a violation! So do it!”

Illumi put his hand onto his jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He unfolded it and showing he had the real contract. 

“The one I left behind is fake and signed with a signature that isn't yours,” Illumi revealed. “I keep the real one on me at all times. He has no proof.”  
“…Why didn't you tell me sooner?”   
“It was irrelevant before.”   
“What about before I asked you to kill me!?”   
“I wanted to see if you were willing to die for me.”   
“You know I would… But would you actually be willing to kill me?”   
“That’s an interesting question,” Illumi paused for a moment. “Well, I like to take care of my things. I decided some time ago you’re mine so killing you would be a loss to me.”   
“Are you saying… You love me?”   
“Not really, I’m saying you have value to me.”   
“You really can’t say it, can you?”  
“…”   
“I’ll say it then,” you said taking a deep breath. “Illumi, I love you…” 

Illumi looked to the side seemingly unmoved by your declaration. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Those three little words that came very naturally to some people taunted him. Now wasn't the time to press him on it since had bigger problems to worry about. 

“But your family is still in danger,” you reminded him. “What are we going to do?”   
“My family isn't in any danger,” Illumi said calmly.  
“How can you be so sure about that?”   
“Because I was waiting for this.”   
“You knew this was going to happen?”  
“It was just a matter of time.”   
“…”  
“Now, let’s go home. Our trip has been cut short.” 

The car immediately changed directions as the date came to an end. It was time to return to the estate Kazuo was trying to destroy. You would not allow him to hurt the family near and dear to your heart.


	11. Surprises

The next morning the sun hid itself as storm clouds hung over Kukuroo Mountain. A mist surrounded the mountain just like the day Kazuo first arrived. He was in his room looking into the mirror. His dirty blonde hair was no longer tied back by the ribbon and an eyepatch covered his right eye. He was now blind in that eye thanks to Gotoh’s attack.

Kazuo admired himself and the tattoos on his bare chest and arms. He caressed his own arm before grabbing a shirt. He buttoned it only halfway leaving most of his chest exposed and rolled up his sleeves. He didn't bother to put on the suit or the pendent that the other butlers wore. He walked down the stairs as if he already owned the estate. He whistled some sailor’s tune as he casually walked towards the door. Gotoh blocked the exit of the butler’s quarters and crossed his arms. 

“Huh, I thought I told you what would happen if you got in my way?” Kazuo rhetorically asked him.  
“If I stand by and let you run amok I have no business calling myself a Zoldyck butler,” Gotoh sharply responded.  
“Even if members of the family die?”  
“If you truly wanted them dead you would have done it by now. Kill them and you lose your leverage.”  
“I have plenty of leverage.”  
“That’s what you think but in reality, you’ve backed yourself into a corner.”

Various butlers who had been marked by Kazuo came out of hiding surrounding Gotoh. The ones on the second floor pointed guns at him. Canary entered the room and stood behind Kazuo holding her staff. The tattoo on the back of her neck glowed while under Kazuo’s influence and her eyes were soulless.

“Remind me, who’s the one that’s cornered again?” Kazuo taunted Gotoh.  
“Tch. What a cheap trick…”  
“I have stuff to do so Canary and the others can play with you for a while.”

The butlers on the second floor shot at Gotoh forcing him to move to avoid the shots. Kazuo smirked evilly before casually exiting the butler’s quarters. Gotoh was experienced and quick but he was severely outnumbered. The butlers on the second floor continued to shoot keeping him in defense while Canary and the other butlers attacked at close range. 

Canary swung the staff and Gotoh dodged it throwing several coins in retaliation. She spun the staff blocking the coins. Suddenly, the butlers on the second floor were knocked unconscious in just a few seconds and Gotoh quickly looked up. Tsubone and Amane were standing on the second floor. 

“It seems you could use some help,” Tsunbone said.  
“I assure you I had it under control,” Gotoh retorted.  
“This is no time for your pride,” Amane spoke. “My grandmother and I will take care of the others. Focus on Canary.” 

Tsubone and Amane jumped from the second floor to aid Gotoh in this fight. They fought the butlers surrounding him allowing him to focus on Canary. While he didn't want to kill her he intended to stop her at any cost. Gotoh took the fight outside leading her out as well. There was much more room for him to move around now. Gotoh jumped from one tree to another as Canary stayed on top of him. 

“Canary!” you yelled. “Stop.” 

You came seemingly out of nowhere and held Canary at gunpoint. You were still wearing your black dress but your heels were missing. You took them off to move around silently. Canary looked at you and it was clear she wasn't herself. 

“You’re stronger than this, I know you are,” you said trying to get through to her. 

Canary came after you against her will and Gotoh reappeared with a swift kick of his leg. The little girl lost her grip on her staff and hit a tree with an incredible force. 

“That was a timely distraction,” Gotoh said straightening his pendent.  
“Yeah…”  
“Where the hell have you been and what are you wearing?” he sharply asked.  
“That’s irrelevant right now.”  
“Hmph.” 

Canary got back up and approached the two of you slowly. You put your handgun down and approached her as well. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Gotoh asked you.  
“The Zoldyck family needs you to snap out of this,” you said to her. “It is your duty to protect them.”  
“…”  
“Master Killua needs you, Canary.”

The light returned to Canary’s eyes as regained control over her mind. She remembered the young master who she swore to protect and the rest of the family. The tattoo on Canary sparked a few times as she got an excruciating headache. Canary dropped to her knees as the tattoo burned up and then disappeared from her skin. 

“What… Happened?” Canary asked confused. “Is… Master Killua alright?”  
“It’s possible to be overpowered by will,” Gotoh observed. “He’s not as powerful as he portrays.”  
“Take care of Canary and fill her in, please,” you said to Gotoh turning around.  
“Where are you going?”  
“To do my job.”  
“In that?” he said tasing his eyebrow. 

In truth, there was a reason you weren't wearing your suit but you didn't have the time to explain. Tsubone and Amane finished their part and approached you three. Tsubone was holding your sniper and must have known you were here. 

“I believe you’ll be needing this,” Tsubone said handing you the sniper. “Put it to good use.”  
“Thank you, Tsubone. I will.” 

They weren't the friendliest bunch but there was solidarity between all of you. If there was one thing all of you had in common it was your loyalty. You went deeper into the brush leaving the butlers to take care of Canary.

Meanwhile, Kazuo gave Milluki the command of opening Alluka’s room. The level of security increased since he had last seen her. Alluka was having a tea party with her stuffed animals as her attendant nervously stood by her side. Her attendant was also different from last time. Her previous attendant was killed by unknown circumstances. Her new attendant was a female servant with short brown hair named Aika. 

“You’re not supposed to be in here,” Aika informed Kazuo.  
“I came to pay ‘Master’ Alluka a visit.” 

Aika looked around wondering what she should do. She thought about calling for help or even fighting Kazuo himself. As if he read her mind he approached her intimidatingly. 

“I wouldn't make any sudden movements if I were you,” he warned. “Just stay where you are.”  
“Aika, sit down,” Alluka requested.  
“Y-Yes, Master Alluka.” 

Aika sat down on one of the small cushions disobeying Kazuo to obey Alluka. Beads of sweat accumulated on her forehead as she nervously gripped the hem of her suit. Kazuo narrowed his brow and crouched down to look at Aika.

“Didn’t I say don’t move?” Kazuo asked annoyed. “What’s the matter with you? Do you want to die?”  
“N-No… I don’t. That is why I moved.” 

Alluka fed her stuffed animals pretend food and drink as Kazuo stared at Aika with the eyes of a killer. Aika looked away in fear knowing if she disobeyed Alluka too many times she would die as her predecessor did. If she disobeyed Kazuo she would also die. There was no way out of this situation. 

“Aika, drink this,” Alluka said offering her a teacup of invisible tea.  
“Yes, Master Alluka.” 

Aika reached out to grab the cup of invisible tea. Kazuo swatted the plastic teacup out of her hand making it hit the rug. Aika gasped since that counted as a failure. 

“If you want to play you have to be nice!” Alluka scolded him.  
“We don’t have time for this.”

Kazuo straightened himself and grabbed Alluka throwing her over his shoulder. She yelled and hit his back with her small fist.

“Wait!” Aika yelled “You can’t!”  
“I can do whatever I want,” Kazuo coldly responded. 

He pulled a hidden knife and threw it at Aika with precision. The knife pierced her throat making it impossible for her to call for help. She was injured but she wasn't dead. Kazuo didn't understand how Alluka was able to grant wishes he only knew that she could. If he had let Aika fulfill three requests he could have made his wish. Instead, he chose to use brute force this time. He was running out of patience. Since Alluka was in the process of making requests of Aika, she could not make any requests of Kazuo. She also didn't know his name.

Kazuo attempted to mark Alluka while carrying her but Nanika made it impossible to do so. The mists made it difficult for Kazuo to see where he was going. They were near the play area and Kazuo stepped on one of Killua’s stray toy cars. He fell forward dropping Alluka in the process. She got up before Kazuo could grab her and ran away into the forest behind the play area.

“You brat! Come here!” 

Kazuo grunted getting up and chased her into the forest. Kazuo lost sight of Alluka completely and looked around. 

“Alluka, don't you want to see your big brother?” Kazuo said loudly. “If you come out and grant my wish you’ll get to see him.” 

Kazuo walked around slowly looking for her. Instead, he saw what appeared to be ‘your’ silhouette in the distance. 

“So, you came back, did you?” he asked loudly.  
“…”  
“And where’s the fish eyed freak? Did you really kill him?”  
“…”  
"Say something already!"

As Kazuo got closer he saw ‘your’ back was to him. He came next to ‘you’ and ‘you’ turned ‘your’ head to the side keeping ‘your’ eyes closed. 

“I don’t know what you’re so upset about. It’s not like you mattered to him.”  
"..."  
“Besides, I’m probably a better lover. I can show you later…”

Kazuo reached out to caress 'your' face and ‘you’ grabbed his wrist painfully twisting it breaking it in the process. Finally ‘you’ opened ‘your’ eyes revealing it wasn't you at all. Illumi was disguised as you and threw Kazuo across the forest with tremendous power. Kazuo rolled a great distance and pushed himself off the ground with his good hand. Illumi casually walked towards Kazuo with the mist surrounding him. When he was visible again he was transformed back to his normal appearance but was still wearing your suit. 

“As someone who uses disguises often, I can tell you that you are not a good actor, at least not as good as you think you are. I’ll show you how it’s done.” 

Illumi had a cheerful condescending tone to his voice that made Kazuo’s blood boil. He spat at the ground in response to Illumi’s superiority act.

“You gave yourself away multiple times but you were also careless in other ways too.”  
“Oh yeah?”  
“Did you ever think to check your clothes or your room for bugs?”  
“Obviously.”  
“Then you didn't look hard enough… There is a small listening device in your pendant. Milluki made it for me some time ago for a job. I decided to use it on you. He isn't as useless as you think."

Illumi heard everything Kazuo ever said. From his conversations with Killua to his tea time with Kikyo. Illumi even heard the story he told about his past. Kazuo held the arm with his broken wrist and gritted his teeth as Illumi continued to taunt him. 

"Your arrogance clouded your mind. It made you think you had a chance against us but you didn’t. You only made it this far because I allowed it.”

The implication that Illumi was letting him win was insulting. No, he believed he made it this far by his own merit. He believed that it was his cunning that allowed him to fool the Zoldyck family.

“Then you went and tried to steal Zoldyck property,” Illumi goaded. “You don’t even know how it works.”  
“How what works?”  
“Nanika.”  
“Who the hell is Nanika!?”  
“The soulless creature possessing Alluka. Oh… You didn't know that either did you?”  
“Tch. You remind me of my brother, Illumi… Always thinking he was smarter than me…”  
“It doesn't take very much to be smarter than you.”

Once again, Illumi aimed to humiliate him. Not with violence but with his words. It was working because Kazuo let his bloodlust slip out. Illumi felt the powerful menacing Aura and proceeded to take a few steps towards him again. 

“You were so ready to unmask yourself that you didn't get all the details from Kil. That was a lack of foresight on your part.”  
“…”  
“I’m feeling generous today so I’ll tell you this,” Illumi said cheerfully. “After many experiments my family and I conducted we determined that he can only make requests of one person at a time. When three requests are fulfilled that is when you can make your wish.”  
“…”  
“Let me guess, you ran off with Alluka when he was making requests of someone else.”

Kazuo looked in the direction he came from and thought to go back. Although, Aika might have been dead by now. Even so, Illumi would not let him go. He had him right where he wanted him. 

“It’s too late to go back now,” Illumi casually warned him. “Don’t move an inch. If you do you’ll be shot.”  
“I still have a few cards left to play... I know Canary has been freed but Milluki and Kalluto are still marked. I can order them to kill themselves.”  
“But we can kill you quicker than you can give the order. Also, you may be out of range to do that. If our abilities are similar in nature then I know what your weaknesses are.”  
“You’re making an assumption.”  
“My assumptions are usually correct.”

The ‘we’ Illumi was referring to was you and him. You had your sniper pointed at Kazuo the entire time and waited for a command from Illumi. From where you were perched in the trees you could see the two men staring at each other. Kazuo was forced into a stalemate by Illumi. It was just a large game of chess and the estate was the game board. 

“Master Illumi,” You said into the communicator he gave you. “I have a clean shot.”  
“Not yet,” he said to the earpiece. “It’s too soon.” 

You didn't know what Illumi was waiting for or why he wanted to drag this out. You just wanted to end this and atone for your mistake. It was the perfect time to take the shot and for a moment you thought about disobeying his order. When arriving at the estate Illumi told you to do exactly as he said. In all your years with the family you never disobeyed one of his orders but this time you thought of making an exception. 

You tried to pull the trigger but you couldn't commit to it. This time, it wasn't because you wanted to spare Kazuo's life. This time, it was because taking that shot would be breaking your trust in Illumi. Up until now you always trusted him. You trusted him with your body and your life. Even if he didn't love you back you couldn't break his trust. Then you saw another person enter your line of sight. It was one of the children, but it wasn't Alluka, it was Killua. 

“What did you do with Alluka?” Killua demanded in a dark voice. “Where is she?”  
“Killua…”  
“I heard her yelling for help so what did you do with her!?”

Killua stood directly between Kazuo and his brother Illumi. You were worried Kazuo would try to use him to shield himself or take another hostage.

“You’re just in time, Killua,” Kazuo said extending his good hand to him. “Let’s go.”  
“Why… Would I go anywhere with you?” Killua said taking a step back.  
“Because you’re a prisoner here just like I once was.”  
“…”  
“I told you I would let you and Alluka be together again. I kept my word. Isn’t this what you wanted?”  
“…”  
“He’s using you, Kil,” Illumi said calmly. “Be smart.”  
“The only one who has been using you is your family,” Kazuo said to Killua. “They don’t really love you.”  
“Dad and I do what we must for your future,” Illumi said to Killua. “That doesn't mean we have no love for you, Kil. You're the future heir of our family after all.”  
“Shut up,” Killua muttered.  
“Do you want to live a life being told what to do or do you want to be free?” Kazuo rhetorically asked Killua.  
“You are an assassin, Kil. It’s in your blood and there is no escaping it.”  
“The world is waiting for you, Killua,” Kazuo said trying to entice him. “With me, there will be no rules. You can do whatever you want!”  
“Don’t throw your future away to become some mindless marauder,” Illumi coldly commented. “You’re better than that.”  
“SHUT UP!” 

Killua shut his eyes and put his hands over his ears and trying to block out both of them. He was being pulled in different directions. You couldn't hear what was being said from the distance but you could tell Killua was in pain. Alluka from where she was hiding saw her brother struggling and came out. She ran over to him and hugged him to ease his pain.

“Big brother… Don’t be upset.” 

Killua opened his eyes and looked at his little sister as he slowly pulled his hands away from his ears. He hugged her back and Illumi observed them with no change in his expression. Kazuo watched as well and was confident he won Killua over. You observed from the distance using Eagle Eye and were nearly brought to tears. Alluka did not deserve the treatment she received from the family. She loved them and the only one who could reciprocate that love was Killua. 

“I’m not upset Alluka… Don’t worry…”  
“Okay…” 

Killua held onto his sister for a moment and then let go. He then smiled sadly and patted her on the head. 

“Hey Alluka, wanna play a game?”  
“A game?”  
“Go over there and count to one hundred as loud as you can… Cover your ears.”  
“Okay!”  
“And close your eyes while you do it too…”

Alluka ran over to a tree and began to count from one to one hundred loudly with her eyes closed and ears covered. Killua slowly walked towards Kazuo who welcomed him with open arms. He was a man who cared for nothing. He loved no one. However, he identified with Killua. He needed him strategically but a part of him became quite fond of the boy. Once Killua was close enough he changed his hand into a claw and pierced Kazuo’s stomach with his hand. He leaned over the child surprised by his attack. At that moment Killua’s eyes were sharp, narrow, and devoid of any light. 

“My family is bad… But you’re worse,” Killua said coldly.  
“Kill…ua…"

Killua ripped his hand out from his stomach causing Kazuo to fall backward. He looked up at the child who looked down at him.

"Don’t you… Want to see the world?” Kazuo weakly asked him.  
“Not with you…” 

Killua tried not to feel anything for the pirate. He had to convince himself he was a monster but seeing him lay there and bleed filled him with sorrow. The only person who might have understood what he felt was now dead. While he knew it was necessary he was conflicted. Even you, who was adamant about killing Kazuo moments ago were conflicted over his death. Illumi was right that you and Killua shared one quality. You had compassion for other living creatures. A poor quality in an assassin. 

In his last moments of life, Kazuo felt angry over losing the game. He thought about where he went wrong. He was confident he would win. He hoped Killua would have joined him instead of siding with his family. Kazuo reluctantly accepted his loss and before drawing his last breath he released his tattoo marks on Milluki, Kalluto, and the butlers. It was not because he had a change of heart. It was his way of congratulating Killua for his kill. Illumi walked up to Killua from behind and put his hands on his shoulders. 

“Kil… I’m so proud of you,” Illumi praised him.  
“You knew…” Killua coldly muttered.  
“Yes.”  
“You wanted me to kill him…”  
“I knew you would be the one from the start, Kil. I decided that a long time ago.”  
“Why? Why did I have to do it?”  
“It was an important lesson for you to learn. People who call themselves your friend will always deceive you. They’ll always stab you in the back when you aren’t looking. You can’t trust anyone.”  
“So you put our entire family in danger just so you could prove a stupid point?”  
“They were never in any danger, Kil. I had faith you would protect your family… And you did. Good job.” 

Killua turned around angry at his big brother and attempted to punch him. Illumi effortlessly avoided his attack as Alluka continued to count loudly. She messed up at some point and had to start over. You watched Killua wear himself out desperately trying to hit his older brother. Illumi kicked his little brother making him roll on the ground.

“Illumi,” you sternly said into the communicator. “Stop.”  
“You’ve been training well, Kil,” Illumi complimented Killua. “Maybe one day, you’ll be strong enough to actually hit me.” 

Killua tried to get up but grabbed his head in pain. He had a headache and felt a powerful energy coming from his older brother that paralyzed him with fear. 

“You know better than to attack an opponent you have no chance against.”  
“…”  
“Don’t even try it, Kil.”

The sinister side of Illumi frightened you as well. You knew him to be obsessive over Killua and his family but this was extreme. He was hurting him. Illumi ignored you as you insisted he stop. When it came to his family there was no getting through to him. He thought he knew what was best for Killua. 

“Killua, Illumi,” Silva sternly barked. “That’s enough.” 

Silva, Zeno, and Kikyo walked through the mist entering the scene. The three of them coldly looked at Kazuo’s dead body. 

“So, It’s been done,” Zeno commented.  
“…Y-You… All of you knew..?” Killua asked.  
“Well of course we knew,” Zeno responded to his grandson. “You think this is the first bad apple we’ve ever had? The most brazen, yes, but not the first.”  
“My Killua, such a good boy protecting his family! I’m so proud!” 

Kikyo grabbed Killua and hugged him praising him for killing Kazuo. Killua balled his hands into a fist feeling frustrated once again. This time he didn't fight back. He accepted the praise and affection lifelessly.

“One hundred!” Alluka shouted finishing the count. 

Alluka looked around seeing her family and was confused by what was going on. She saw Kazuo’s dead body and got scared.

“Don’t look, Alluka,” Killua sternly instructed her. 

Killua’s motivation was to protect Alluka but he did exactly what his family wanted him to do. Illumi would never listen to you but you had to get through to him. This was wrong.


	12. Love and Deception

It was revealed that Illumi, Silva, Zeno, and Kikyo were aware of Kazuo’s intentions and were merely playing along. Two and a half years ago shortly after Kazuo first arrived, Illumi met with his father to discuss the situation. 

“Illumi, you know that one is malicious, don’t you?” Silva asked his son.  
“Of course I do.”  
“Get rid of him.”  
“Not yet, with your permission father, I’d like to try something.”  
“And what would that be?”  
“Kil doesn't know very much about the art of deception. He’s good at stealth but there’s a lot he has to learn. This is one of the skills he’s lacking in.”  
“And what do you suggest?”  
“Keep the Captain around. Let’s see if Kil can identify the threat and take care of it.”  
“I don’t like the thought of an enemy living on our estate.”  
“He will be heavily monitored. I’ll oversee it personally, with your permission of course.”  
“You want to? Don’t you have another butler to look after?”  
“I can supervise both.”  
“On top of training Killua?”  
“This is a part of his education. I don’t mind.” 

Silva took a moment to think about Illumi’s proposal. After some time he put his index finger up. 

“I’ll allow it, on one condition, if this gets out of hand I’m getting involved.”  
“I don’t think that will be necessary. Kil will catch on eventually and when he does I doubt he will stand by and do nothing, especially if he targets Alluka.”  
“You think Alluka will become a target of his?”  
“If he finds out about his power, yes.”  
“That child is too dangerous to allow into the hands of the enemy. It will destroy our entire family.”  
“Like I said, Kil will handle it.” 

Since that day, Illumi was carefully monitoring Kazuo with the hope that Killua would do the right thing. Silva instructed Zeno and Kikyo not to go about their day as they normally would. They humored the young man to make him think he had them fooled. 

In the present, you left the treetop and returned to the butler’s quarters. You didn't want the family to see you in your cocktail dress since Illumi still had your suit on. Zeno left to check on the situation with Canary, Gotoh, and the other butlers. Kikyo went to check on Kalluto and Milluki to see if they were freed from Kazuo’s influence. Alluka was taken away and held in another room temporally. Aika didn’t make it and bled out in Alluka’s room. A female butler on the estate whom she was close with died spontaneously as a result. Her death counted as a failure since she died while Alluka was making requests of her.

Kazuo’s body was taken away by the other servants to be disposed of. Killua watched them carry his lifeless body and then looked down at his hand still covered in his blood. The blood was dry and crusty at this point. Killua asked himself over and over if he made the right decision. He wondered what would have happened if he betrayed his family instead. Silva and Illumi stood side by side with their arms crossed as the misty wind blew their hair back. Both of them coldly observed Killua questioning himself. Illumi removed his earpiece to speak with his father. 

“It was just as you said, Illumi,” Silva said to his son.  
“Yes, Kil did well, although it took him longer than it should have. He still has work to do.”  
“He feels guilt.”  
“He’ll get over it,” he assured his father.  
“Killua knows better than to mourn his target.”  
“Another bad habit I’ll force out of him.”  
“He trusts others too easily, it worries me.”  
“He will learn all about deception with time.”  
“Speaking of deception,” Silva’s tone changed and became more stern. “I believe you have something to tell me, Illumi.”  
“Oh, you found out,” he responded casually.  
“How long did you expect to keep it a secret from me?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe a year or so.” 

Silva finally turned his head and gave his son a serious glare. Illumi didn't bother to look at him but he could feel his stern gaze.

“Your mother doesn't know and I’ll spare you the dramatics if you come quietly. I want to speak with both of you. No negotiations.”  
“Okay. I don’t want mother to have a heart attack, she still thinks I’m a virgin.” 

Illumi finally met his intense gaze without even blinking. If it were Milluki he would have been too terrified to speak. Unlike his siblings, Illumi had his subtle ways of challenging his father. Silva told him to meet him in his room as soon as everything with Kazuo was wrapped up. 

Later that day, Illumi brought your suit folded to your room in the butler’s quarters. You were currently wearing the grey training sweatpants and sweatshirt given to all trainees. It’s been a long time since you put it on. It was your only other set of clothes besides your suit and the dress you bought. For once, you felt fashionable but it didn't last long. Illumi knocked on the door and you were surprised to see him. You let him in and shut the door. 

“Ill—Master Illumi— Why are you here?”  
“I’m returning your suit.”  
“Um… Thank you but you shouldn’t come here… It looks suspicious. People will talk.”  
“Well, it doesn't really matter anymore.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“My father wants to speak with us.”  
“M-Master Silva… Knows about us?”  
“Yes.”  
“But… How? Did Milluki tell him? Or Gotoh? Or Kazuo—“  
“No. I doubt anyone said a thing. My father is quite intelligent and I didn't expect to fool him for long.” 

It took a few seconds for the gravity of the situation to sink in. You sat down on the edge of the bed silently. Illumi put the suit on the bed and silently sat down next to you. 

“…So… Is he going to kill me?”  
“Probably.”  
“…”  
“But, he has a soft spot for you so you should use that to your advantage.”  
“…”  
“It has to do with the circumstances of your birth.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“When your father hired me to kill you he said you needed to be erased like your mother. When my father killed him he was with a prostitute around your age. The whole thing left a poor taste in his mouth. That’s one of the reasons he took pity on you in the first place.”  
“That’s why he told me not to waste my breath on him…”  
“My father is a strong man who doesn't show his emotions. I used to aspire to be like him in that way but I learned he does get sentimental from time to time. I do not.”  
“Yes, you do.”  
“I don’t.”  
“So if he killed me, you wouldn't care?”  
“I said you have value to me, but you are not the only one that can fulfill my needs. You can be replaced.”  
“I don't believe you mean that.” 

You searched his face for some sort of emotion but it couldn't be found. He turned his head to the side ending your search. His detached nature hurt, especially now. You reached out to grab his hand regaining his attention. 

“…There’s something else I need to talk to you about…” you said trying not to get emotional. “and if this is the last conversation we ever get to have… You need to listen.”  
“No need to be so dramatic.”  
“I’m serious,” you said sternly. “What you did to Killua was wrong and the way you treat Alluka is worse… They’re your siblings, not your puppets.” 

Illumi pulled his hand away and stood up putting a hand on his hip. He looked down at you with a scowl. 

“You think I care what you think about the way I treat my family?”  
“Illumi—”  
“Besides, Alluka isn't a Zoldyck child.”  
“Alluka is biologically related to you,” you said sternly. “Accept that.”  
“I’ve told you before, this isn't your place.”  
“Then what is my place, Illumi?”  
“…”  
“Please tell me because I don’t know myself!”  
“…”  
“You don’t make any sense… You say cruel things like that and then… You take me to dinner and try to impress me. So which is it? Am I a toy that is easily replaced or do I matter to you?”  
“…”  
“Or was our relationship just another part of your plan?”  
“I was counting on you to be soft hearted with Kazuo but our relationship was not part of my plan.” 

Illumi’s family was still a sensitive subject for him but after what you witnessed you couldn’t bite your tongue. Illumi’s desire for control went beyond the bedroom. He had to be in control all the time.

“You’re mine, that’s all you need to know.”  
“But what does that mean?”  
“We should get this over with,” Illumi coldly said. “I’ll be waiting for you outside. Get changed.” 

Illumi left the room giving you the cold shoulder on the way out. He acted indifferent about your life but it was an act. Before, he said your death would be a loss to him. That was the truth. There was no other you. There was no other person around him that would make the effort to understand him. There were things you admired about Illumi and there were things you disliked. At this point… It didn't matter. Your relationship was over one way or another. You teared up a little and took off your training sweats to change into your suit. 

Meanwhile, in Silva’s room, he waited for you and Illumi while petting one of his large dogs. Zeno came to report to Silva the situation with Canary and the other butlers. Everything was under control now. Zeno stuck around to put in his two cents about the situation with you and Illumi. 

“If you ask my opinion—“  
“I didn’t.”  
“But if you did—“  
“Dad.”  
“Can I at least finish my sentence, Silva?” Zeno asked sarcastically. “Is that allowed?”  
“I don't need any advice from you.”  
“Well, last time I checked I don't need an invitation to speak my mind.”  
“Last time I checked I was the head of this family.”  
“Son, I was the head of this family when you were in diapers. Don’t patronize me.” 

A spark of irritation emitted from Silva. Although he was a grown man with many children of his own, his father still treated him like a child from time to time. Both men had strong personalities and different ideas of leadership. They easily got on each other’s nerves. It was just another tradition that would continue for generations. One day his children would have children and annoy them as well, at least that’s what he thought. 

“Let this one go, Silva,” Zeno urged.  
“You want me to let this go?” Silva asked raising an eyebrow.  
“Illumi is an adult who can make his own decisions and while his relationship was inappropriate… To say the least… I have never known him to do things for the hell of it. He isn't reckless. It is my belief he loves this woman whether he is willing to admit that or not.”  
“A line was crossed in my house. I won’t let that go.”  
“When you married Kikyo I didn't stop you, did I?”  
“Don’t bring my wife into this,” Silva sternly warned. “It isn't the same.”  
“I’m just making a point.”  
“You have no point.”  
“Love is love. That’s my point.”  
“One of our servants had a sexual relationship with my eldest son. I’d hardly call that love.”  
“Then you weren't paying attention. Illumi was in a better mood as of late even with the ‘Captain’ plotting our downfall. He was happy.”  
“You knew this was going on and you kept quiet, didn't you?”  
“Hmm… Did I?”  
“Dad.”  
“I can’t seem to recall knowing anything of the sort… I’m quite old, you know.”  
“Really? You’re going to play senile card?”  
“When it’s convenient.” 

Silva was even more annoyed with his father who was somewhat satisfied with getting a little rise out of him. In truth, he didn't agree with all of the unnecessary deaths of the servants. In all his years as an assassin, he had never killed a person he wasn't paid to kill. He was the most compassionate member of the family and someone useful to have in your corner. Although you were unaware of it, Zeno saw you come and go from Illumi’s room often. It didn't take very long for him to put the pieces together. 

Now, it was time for your judgment and Illumi escorted you to Silva’s room. The only other time you were in this room was the day he first hired you. It seemed even more ominous now.

“You can go now, Dad.”  
“I think I’ll stay, if that’s okay with you of course,” Zeno said somewhat sarcastically. “Don’t want to overstep now.”  
“Fine,” Silva sighed. “Do what you want.” 

Zeno stayed in the corner of the room with his arms crossed. He didn't intend on interrupting, he simply wanted to observe. You were too embarrassed to look either of them, but you had to look at Silva out of respect when he spoke to you. 

“You broke a serious rule in your agreement to serve the Zoldyck family. I don’t think I need to go into the details. You know what you did. Do you admit to it?”  
“Yes Sir.”  
“And I assume you know what the penalty is, correct?”  
“Yes, I do.”  
“Do you have anything to say?”  
“No, Sir.”  
“I do,” Illumi spoke up casually.  
“This should be interesting,” Zeno thought to himself.  
“Proceed,” Silva instructed Illumi.  
“I guess you could kill her now… But if you did you would be killing a Zoldyck too.”  
“Excuse me?” Silva asked surprised. 

You whipped your head around just as surprised by Illumi’s claim. If you were pregnant you would have been the first to know! If you weren't convinced that Illumi was deviously intelligent, you were now. It was frightening how he was calm in any and every situation. He always stayed two steps ahead of his opponent even when that opponent was his father.

“Oh, I guess you didn't know…” Illumi said casually to Silva.  
“…”  
“We have another rule, one that states that a member of the Zoldyck family can not kill another member of the family.”  
“…”  
“Isn’t that right, Father?”  
“Illumi, don’t test me.”  
“I’m not.”  
“Is this true?” Silva asked you.

Illumi was exploiting the one weakness he knew his father had and it was working. You didn't like the thought of that. It didn't feel right. This family held too many secrets from each other already. The lying needed to stop here. 

“No… It isn’t. He just lied to you for my sake… But I don’t want that. The last thing I want is to cause further conflict between the family.”  
“I see,” Silva glanced at his son. “That was an underhanded tactic, son.”  
“It was worth a try,” Illumi admitted unapologetically.  
“I want to thank you for accepting me into your home,” you said to Silva. “I’m sorry we deceived you. I always knew it was a possibility… But I have no regrets.” 

Zeno observed his son noting how your words made him tense. You were quite likable, one of the most pleasant servants. Kind, gracious, and easy to talk to. Most of all, Illumi was right, your story made him pity you. There was a long pause from Silva. You didn’t know what you expected him to say but the silence was nerve wracking. 

“I need time to make my decision,” Silva strongly stated. “You’re dismissed, for now. You’ll stay in the isolation room so don’t even think about trying to escape.”  
“Sir, I will accept my death without any resistance, if that’s what you decide.”  
“I’ll summon you when I've come to a decision…” 

You gave a quick courteous bow and then left the room with Illumi. When both of you were gone Zeno approached his son with his hands clasped behind his back. 

“Illumi had you for a moment there. Heh, clever boy.”  
“…”  
“But he sure took drastic measures to ensure that woman stays alive. How unusual…”  
“…”  
“Think about it, Silva.” 

Zeno left the room as the decision weighed on Silva heavily. You would think something like this would be easy for an experienced assassin but this was not something he was paid to do. It was a moral dilemma. After the meeting, Illumi escorted you to the isolation room and chained you to the wall. Normally, that would have been the beginning of an exciting and erotic session. Now the chains just felt cold. Illumi kept some distance but continued to stare at you. 

“I was trying to save your life. You should have played along.”  
“No.”  
“Huh, I thought you wanted to live.”  
“I don’t want to trick your father anymore. He has been good to me and it’s wrong to use his compassion against him.”  
“Well, it was the only way.”  
“and I thought you said I could be replaced…”  
“…”  
“That’s what you said isn't it?”  
“…”  
“If you’re not gonna answer me, at least answer this. If what you said was actually true… What would you do?”  
“You want to know what I would do?”  
“Yes.”  
“Naturally, I would teach that child everything I know and they would become an assassin. I wouldn't rest until they were a true Zoldyck. That is how my father taught me.”  
“And you would love them?”  
“Of course.” 

Illumi responded without any hesitation whatsoever. It was genuine. He may have been a cold blooded assassin but family was very important to him. If he were to have an illegitimate child he wouldn't get rid of them as many people did. He wouldn't do what your father did. He would love them in his own twisted way. They would likely endure the same treatment as Killua, if not worse, but it was comforting knowing he had love in his heart. It finally made sense why he denied any relation to Alluka. It would hurt him to know he was being so cruel to one of his siblings. You still didn't agree with him but you understood him a little better.

“Thank you, Illumi… That’s all I wanted to know.” 

You hung your head sad yet satisfied with his answer. You expected to hear Illumi's footsteps get further away as he left you alone. Instead, you felt him slide a finger under your chin and lift your head up. Illumi gave you one final kiss on the lips similar to the one he gave you in the hallway. It was still possessive but somehow sweet and warm. He turned away and looked up at the camera pointed at you two. You were being watched. Illumi walked away and you pulled on the chains. Once again you found yourself restrained and unable to reach out to him.

Illumi exited seemingly indifferent as usual but he betrayed himself. He left a small piece of his heart in that room bound up in chains. In Milluki’s room, Silva stood by Milluki’s side watching the surveillance cameras in the isolation room. A tear rolled down your cheek. You weren't afraid of your death anymore. You cried for Illumi. He was a man who couldn't be true to his emotions even now. The words were lost to him. 

“I didn't know big brother Illumi was such a softie,” Milluki cruelly joked. “What’s the big deal? Killing her is easy, look, she's just a big crybaby! I’ve killed loads of those.”  
“It’s not something you’re old enough to understand yet, Milluki.”  
“I’m not a little kid you know, I get it!”  
“No, you don’t get it,” Silva said more sternly. “It’s complicated.”  
“Well, you don’t have to worry about me dating any of the servants, Papa. I already have a girlfriend.”  
“…”  
“Her name is Suki-Chan.”  
“…”  
“A-And by the way… I didn't know anything about this! If I did I would have told you! You and Mama!”  
“…”  
“Papa?” 

Silva didn't bother to give a response to Milluki. That boy really needed to get out of his room for once… But Silva had more important matters to think about. His father was right and now it was up to him to decide if you lived or died.


	13. Farewell Zoldyck Family

You slept in the isolation room that night chained to the wall like a prisoner. Your only crime was loving someone you shouldn't have. The sexual part of your relationship was fun and fulfilled both of your dark desires. However, at some point, your relationship with Illumi transcended the contract. You loved him and although he couldn't verbalize it, he loved you too. Silva came to that conclusion himself seeing your interaction in the isolation room through the camera. He spent a lot of time thinking about the decision he had to make. There was a lot for him to consider. 

The next day, Tsubone and Amane were sent to release you from your shackles and escort you to Silva’s room. You rubbed your wrists having been restrained for some time.

“Master Silva is waiting for you, dear,” Tsubone said.  
“Right…”  
“Let’s get a move on.”  
“Um, Tsubone, in case I don’t get a chance to say this… It was a pleasure to work with you,” you turned your attention to Amane. “You too Amane.” 

Amane turned her head to the side trying to maintain her stoic nature. It was just like her to stay serious. 

“Our orders are to bring you to master Silva,” Amane said sharply. “We could care less about what you have to say.”  
“What my granddaughter means to say is it was a pleasure to work with you too but we do have a job to do,” Tsubone said. “Don’t make it harder on yourself.”  
“I know, I just hope you don’t think less of me…”  
“What we think isn't important, dear,” Tsubone said. “You made your choices.” 

Tsubone and Amane walked on either side of you escorting you to Silva’s room. It was a long walk and still as intimidating as ever. Tsubone and Amane stood outside the room on Silva’s command. 

“I’ve made my decision,” he strongly stated.  
“…”  
“I’ve decided to spare your life but there will be conditions.”  
“…”  
“Number one,” Silva said holding one finger up. “You are banished from the Zoldyck estate. Never return. If you do, you will be killed before you can even make it past the testing gate.”  
“…”  
“Number two,” he said holding two fingers up. “You will forget you ever worked here. The names and identities of the Zoldyck family will remain unknown. If you can’t keep it to yourself you will be killed.”  
“…”  
“Number three,” he said holding up the third finger. “You will never come near my son Illumi again.”

The first two conditions were expected but the last one stopped you in your tracks. It was likely you would never see each other again anyway but it still saddened you. It was quite harsh but what was the alternative? You had no choice but to accept it. 

“Do you agree to these three conditions?”  
“Yes, Sir. I agree to them…”  
“Then we have an agreement.” 

Silva grabbed an ornate hourglass with a dragon on it and flipped it over. He held it in the palm of his hand as if it weighed nothing at all. 

“I want you off Kukuroo Mountain in one hour. If you are not gone by then I will change my mind.”  
“…”  
“Your time starts now.” 

Silva took mercy on you but you were on a time limit. In theory, one hour was plenty of time to leave but it was barely enough time to say goodbye. You could have left without saying a word but you didn't want to. Your time here was too meaningful to just disappear. 

You used Eagle Eye to locate Kalluto who was with Kikyo in the garden. It was best to not go anywhere near Kikyo now and you had nothing to say to her. You had to think about how to say goodbye without drawing attention to yourself and then you got an idea. Arts and crafts was still a favorite of Kalluto’s and so you quickly found some paper. You were mindful to keep an eye on how much time you had. You wrote a message on the paper and then folded it into a paper airplane. You threw the paper airplane at Kalluto who struck it down with just a quick motion of their arm. Kikyo noticed the motion and inquired about it. 

“Hmm? Is something the matter?”  
“Just a bee,” Kalluto said. 

Even Kalluto was skilled at deception at such a young age. Sometimes you thought Kalluto was just a mini version of Illumi. Keeping his back to his mother Kalluto opened the paper airplane and saw the message.

“I have to go but I will miss you, Master Kalluto,” is what the note read.

Kalluto looked up and you waved from the bushes in the distance. He waved back with no change in his expression. You meant what you said, you would miss him dearly. With your remaining time, you returned to the butlers’ quarters to get a few things and say goodbye to Gotoh.

“I’m surprised you’re still alive,” he commented.  
“Don’t underestimate the mercy in one's heart.”  
“Is that your idiotic optimism talking?”  
“You need my idiotic optimism to balance out your brooding pessimism.”  
“Oh how will I go on now…” he sarcastically said.  
“I’ll miss you too, Gotoh.”

You smiled and hugged him causing him to tense up. You could just feel the steam rising from his head. 

“Release me before I break something of yours,” Gotoh threatened. "Now."  
“Thanks for everything you taught me…”  
“This is your last warning…”

You let go of him and he immediately smoothed out his suit and adjusted his pendent. Gotoh scowled at you like you committed a crime.  
“Tch. Still impudent as ever…”  
“And I still don't know what that means.”  
“Impudent, shameless or displaying a lack of good manners,” Canary said walking towards you two.  
“I’m not shameless,” you said almost offended.  
“Need I remind you why you’re being ‘let go?’ ” Gotoh retorted.  
“No no, that’s okay.” 

Canary had to cover her mouth to hold back a chuckle from the interaction with you two. That was the first time you made her laugh. You faced the little girl and looked down at her. 

“I didn't know you for very long, Canary, but I will remember you.”  
“Likewise.”  
“I know you will continue to protect the Zoldyck family.”  
“That is my duty.” 

You and Canary bowed to each other with mutual respect. Even though they didn't agree with your actions they still admired you to an extent. You proved your fierce loyalty to the family many times. You were a true Zoldyck butler despite the indiscretion. 

There were just about ten minutes left and you decided not to use Eagle Eye to find Illumi. If he wanted to say goodbye he would find you and you were nearly out of time now. You walked towards the exit and the Zoldyck guard dog Mike came out. The enormous dog sat in front of you with his tongue out. 

“Bye Mike.” 

You approached the large dog and patted him on the arm. Mike only listened to commands from the Zoldyck family. He killed all intruders and was smart enough to recognize an intruder by their scent. Yet, the beast allowed you to pat him as if he were an average canine. Mike didn't scare you since you knew he was a good dog just doing his job. Without Mike, you and the other butlers would be twice as busy taking care of all the intruders. Mike got up again and walked away returning to his previous resting spot. 

You carried on getting closer and closer to the exit. Before exiting you felt someone tug on your pant stopping you. They were much too short to be Illumi and you already said goodbye to Kalluto. You looked over your shoulder and saw Killua behind you.

“Take me and Alluka with you,” Killua said looking down.  
“Master Killua.”  
“The other guy was rotten… But you’re not. You can go on adventures with us…”  
“I can’t do that, I’m sorry.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I won’t betray your father or your brother.”  
“I hate it here…”  
“Master Killua, you need to know your family loves you very much… a little too much sometimes…”  
“You saw what my big brother did… Didn’t you? He does crazy stuff like that all the time…”

You turned around and crouched down so you were at eye level with him. You put your hand on his shoulder as Killua pouted looking over to the side. 

“He’s not as bad as you think Master Killua… Please give him a chance.”  
“Why should I?”  
“Because he would do anything for you.” 

You weren't just saying that either, you meant it. While you didn't always agree with Illumi’s actions, his love for his family was undeniable. Killua didn't appreciate that response and pushed your hand away.

“You’re just like the rest of them… Aren’t you?”  
“Master Killua, can I share something with you?”

While Kazuo worked to cultivate his hate for his family you tried to appeal to his love for them. The way Killua felt towards his family was understandable considering all he experienced. Even so, you didn't want to leave knowing he felt that way towards them. With the time ticking away you decided this was too important to be left unsaid. 

“You have what I never had… You have a family. While they might be a little odd… And sometimes cruel… They’re your family. Cherish them anyway.” 

Killua looked down feeling even more torn. It wasn't easy for him to decide whether he hated them or loved them. He knew he didn't want to be an assassin. That became more apparent with every passing year. He didn't want to be the family heir yet he was chosen. You could feel the child was terribly confused and you comfortingly patted his head. Killua was annoyed by that and pushed your arm away again. 

“I’m not a little kid… Don’t treat me like one.”  
“Sorry, Master Killua, would you prefer a hug instead?”  
“Didn't you hear me!?”  
“You could use it.”  
“Don’t start acting like my mom…”  
“How about a hug for your favorite big brother?” a familiar voice interrupted. 

Illumi seemingly appeared out of nowhere and neither of you sensed him. It was likely he even heard the whole conversation. Illumi held his arms out to Killua who glanced at him annoyed. He wasn’t very affectionate to begin with so seeing him behave this way was almost cute. Killua grunted and walked away with his hands in his pockets. Illumi continued to hold his arms out. 

“I’m still waiting, Kil.” 

Killua ignored his brother as he walked away. It was obvious he was still mad at him. You hoped it was phase Killua would grow out of. Illumi put his arms down and turned his attention to you. 

“You finally decided to show yourself,” you said to Illumi.  
“I was looking for Kil.”  
“Aren’t you… Going to say goodbye?”  
“No,” Illumi said coldly.  
“Illumi—“  
“You’re wasting your time, you know.”  
“It isn't a waste of time.”  
“I think it is.”  
“We’re never going to see each other again…”  
“That doesn't bother me.”  
“…You’re really good at deceiving others… But I wonder if you will ever be honest with yourself.” 

Illumi remained at a short distance away and you took a few steps towards him. He stood in place with his arms crossed with his usual icy stare.

“I hope you find something that makes you happy, Illumi.”  
“I don’t need to be happy.”  
“That’s very typical of you… Next, you’ll say it’s a useless emotion or something… But it isn’t. We were selfish… But when you spend your life devoted to something, sometimes you need to be a little selfish… You’ve chosen to devote your life to your work and your family… Now, I have to find something new to devote my life to.”  
“…”  
Despite it all, I was happy here.”  
“…”  
“Goodbye, Sir.” 

You put your hand over your heart and gave Illumi a gracious bow. When you came up from your bow you smiled at him sweetly. You turned and left the estate just in time. Illumi witnessed your departure and felt an emotion he almost rarely felt. He was angry over the sheer lack of control he had in this situation. You were his, at least that’s what he kept saying, yet you were gone. Illumi felt foolish for allowing himself to develop feelings for you.

“You and I both know this was the best scenario,” an older man’s voice abruptly pulled him out of his thoughts. 

Zeno approached his grandson from behind and stood at his side. He kept his hands clasped behind his back while looking straight ahead. Illumi looked straight ahead as well. 

“I worked your father over before you even had a chance to try your little stunt,” Zeno said. “Don’t say I never did anything for you, grandson.”  
“Do you expect a thank you?”  
“No, but dropping the attitude would be sufficient.” 

Illumi glanced at his Grandfather briefly and then turned away. Zeno sensed the slight agitation within him. 

“Illumi, it wouldn't be a bad idea to settle down with someone else. Someone not a part of our staff. You’re still young, you have time, but if companionship is something you desire—”  
“I’m not the one who needs to keep the Zoldyck line alive, Kil is.”  
“Right now he’s a child who has no concept of what his responsibility is.”  
“That’s okay, when he’s older I’ll find him a wife.”  
“As if he would let you...”  
“Well, it doesn't really matter what he wants,” Illumi coldly responded. “It doesn't matter what I want either.” 

Illumi walked away from his Grandfather firm in his belief that the Zoldyck family as a whole was more important than any individual member. He concealed his true feelings as he always did and refocused his attention solely on Killua.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! As I stated in the comments the ending got very long so I split it up into two parts. This is the first part. The second part of the ending will be during the election arc. Illumi and Reader reunite briefly so if you want to see that make sure you read the last chapter :) 
> 
> Thanks for your support!


	14. New Family (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part of the ending which takes place during the election arc. 
> 
> Spoiler warning: There will be references to events that happen in this arc and other arcs. If you haven't gotten up to this part and you don't want spoilers you can skip this chapter.

Silva spared your life and gave you three conditions that you agreed to honor. You had to leave the Zoldyck estate and you could never return. You could never talk about your time there and had to keep all their identities a secret. Most importantly, you could never come near Illumi again. It was difficult to move on but eventually, you did. 

The big question for you was what to do now? You had the skill and ability of an assassin but not the heart for it. It was a lifestyle meant for the Zoldycks, not for you. Becoming a hunter was a possibility but what would you hunt? There was nothing you desired that you could physically obtain. Becoming a bodyguard was the most practical choice but even that wasn't satisfying. Then you discovered an advertisement online for a nanny. 

The ones who made the ad were no ordinary family. They were Bushburys, a famous family of actors whose fame traveled back generations. Griselda Bushbury was a well known actress who starred in many big motion pictures. She also appeared in commercials and magazines. She was a tall woman with luscious blonde hair and bright red lipstick. She was one of the most beautiful and glamorous women in the world. Despite becoming such a well known face Griselda always wore large white cat eye sunglasses. She never showed her face, even in her movies. No one ever saw her with her sunglasses off except maybe her husband. 

Griselda’s husband Oswyn was also a movie star who performed all his own stunts. He had a good head of brown hair and he was muscular. Oswyn was not opposed to traveling to dangerous parts of the world for his films. In his most recent film, Oswyn was faced with a giant man eating snake in the jungle. While the audience was fooled into thinking it was movie magic the beast was real! Oswyn slew the beast heroically on camera making yet another blockbuster. Their lives were exciting and they were envied by many. Although they weren't hunters themselves they had associates that were. They were aware of the mysterious powers they possessed but had no reason to seek such out such power for themselves. 

Griselda’s and Oswyn had two children, Esmund who was eight, and Kytson who was twelve. Esmund and Kytson were actors just like their parents were. Griselda just had her third child, Eustace, who they were seeking a nanny for. The requirements were quite strict but not as strict as the requirements of your previous employers. The nanny had to have the ability to fight and kill if needed. They had to be able to breathe underwater and be willing to take a blood test. Blood type O candidates were preferred over B and A types. The family’s elder, Grandma Bushbury, had certain superstitions and that was one of them. 

Grandma Bushbury was a short woman who wore heavy amounts of makeup and a lot of jewelry. She used a cane and was always hunched over. She was also a movie star back in her day. She was the mother of Oswyn and lived with the family on their estate. They lived in a modern mansion on private land not too far from the sprawling Swardani City. The mansion had large glass windows and an enormous pool. The interior was very unique and took inspiration from abstract art. The Bushbury family had very eccentric tastes. 

You applied for the nanny position the family posted. You answered their strange questions and passed their tests. You even let Grandma Bushbury feel your energy to see if you were good for the family. Once all that was done you were hired as Eustace’s nanny. The only other child you took care of was Kalluto and it wasn't from birth. Eustace was just a baby when you started taking care of him. You never took care of a baby before. 

Griselda and Oswyn were away often on film sets around the world and seldom had time for the children. Even Esmund and Kytson came and went from their film sets. They only ever interacted on business. It was reminiscent of the way the Zoldyck family interacted except without all the killing. Of course, you couldn't say who your previous employers were. The other servants were intimidated by you and wondered where you were from. Some speculated you had special military training. It didn't take long for you to gain authority over the other butlers. You were the Gotoh of the Bushbury estate except… More approachable. 

When you spoke they listened. When a threat appeared you took care of it. When baby Eustace cried you were there. Unfortunately, he was a baby that cried often. This didn't go away with age. Five years later Eustace still cried often. Despite his timid nature, his parents pushed him into acting. He wasn't very good at it either. The boy would forget his lines often and he was easily frightened. He was cast into horror movies since screaming was what he was best at. You felt sorry for the child and did your best to comfort him. 

“I’m no good…”   
“Just do your best, Master Eustace.” 

All the encouragement he got came from you. You loved him like he was your own child. Eustace was scared of a lot of things, ghosts, monsters, snakes, and clowns. He made you do a check every night before going to sleep. You had to look under his bed, in the closet, in the toy chest, and under the bed again. 

“Are there monsters?” he asked you.   
“No monsters.”   
“B-Beasts?”   
“No beasts.”   
“Clowns?”   
“No clowns.”   
“C-Can you check again?” 

You approached the boy putting a hand on his forehead and pushing his blonde hair back. You smiled sweetly at the little boy reassuring him that everything was fine. 

“Goodnight, Master Eustace.”   
“S-Stay?”   
“I stayed yesterday.”   
“Please?”   
“You can sleep well knowing that no matter where I am I will protect you. I can see everything.” 

Nothing would get past you and since the Kazuo incident years ago you were careful about who you trusted. You kept your distance from most of the others and focused primarily on the wellbeing of Eustace. You shut his door and left his room to go to your quarters. Later that night, well past midnight, two intruders approached the mansion. They were familiar faces, at least one of them was. Illumi and Hisoka were on a cliff above the modern mansion.

A lot happened in the Zoldyck household since you left that day. You were unsuccessful in your attempt to persuade Killua to give his family a chance. He ran away to take the Hunter Exam and become a hunter. He also hurt Kikyo and stabbed Milluki to escape. Illumi followed him to the Hunter Exam on the order of his mother. When he returned home Killua’s new friends did everything in their power to get to him. In another rare act of compassion, Silva let Killua go with them, confident that he would return one day because he is his son. Like his mother, Illumi did not agree with his father’s decision. 

Silva and Zeno were hired by the mafia community to take care of the Phantom Troupe and Illumi was hired by the boss of the Phantom Troupe. Kalluto and Maha accompanied him on this job. Illumi and his father still interrupted each other’s jobs. Then came the biological threat of Chimera Ants, something you were completely unaware of. Killua was directly involved with that mess and discovered Illumi’s needle in his brain. He removed it, freeing himself from his control. It was the very thing that also protected him from Kazuo’s influence. 

Chairmen Netero enlisted Zeno’s help with the ant situation and even Silva made an appearance. After all that Killua did return home but not to stay. He didn't have a change of heart about becoming an assassin. His dear friend Gon was mutilated by his own power. It was beyond gruesome and the only person with the ability to heal him was Alluka. He intended to use Alluka to heal him and that came with a great risk. Silva allowed him to go with Gotoh, Canary, Tsubone, and Amane. There were many rules involved but he allowed it.

Illumi did not approve of this and decided to take matters into his own hands. For as long as you have known him, Illumi wasn't rebellious, quite the opposite actually. He was incredibly loyal to his family but it was times like these where he disagreed with his father. He met with Hisoka on an airship and explained Alluka’s powers, the experiments they did, and the situation they were in. He firmly believed Killua would pay the penalty and have someone else make the wish. Illumi decided to kill Alluka if Killua wouldn't make the wish safely. 

If it went wrong thousands of people would die and that included you. There was no doubt in his mind that you would be a casualty. That was why he was here now. You had no idea your life could end in moments. It would be a cruel fate after all you sacrificed to stay alive. 

“There’s one other person I need to speak with,” he casually informed Hisoka.   
“Hmm? Isn’t this a waste of time?”   
“Not really. It won’t take long.”   
“Wonderful…”  
“Stay here.”  
“What am I? Your dog?” Hisoka asked sarcastically. “Do I get a treat at the end? I hope so~”

Illumi jumped off the cliff overlooking the estate ignoring Hisoka’s suggestive comment. The magician sat down cross legged and took his cards out to entrain himself. Despite being a ruthless killer he had the attention span of a child. He began to build a house of cards only for the wind to blow it away.

“Aww… Oh well…” 

Hisoka jumped down from the cliff collecting his cards. He took a moment to admire the mansion’s exterior and proceeded to go further into the estate. He wasn't looking for anything in particular, just something to entertain himself with. In the middle of the night, Eustace woke up to go to the bathroom. Walking past the large modern window he thought he saw something outside near the pool. Eustace rubbed his eyes and nervously went outside but saw nothing but the flamingo floaty in the pool. 

“Um… Hello?”   
“Don’t mind me,” a creepy voice said. “Just taking a little walk…” 

Eustace turned around and looked up at the magician who gave a ‘friendly’ smile. It was his nightmare come to life and he was frozen in fear. Killer clowns were at the top of his list of fears. You assured him there was no such thing, you were wrong. 

“What? Am I really that frightening?” Hisoka said innocently. “You’re hurting my feelings…”

You heard Eustace scream and that’s all you needed to hear to activate Eagle Eye to find him immediately. Your parental instincts were sharper than ever and you recognized his scream even from far away. Within just a few seconds you appeared behind Hisoka and pointed your guns at him. You adapted the mentality of shooting first and asking questions later. Any threat to the family would not be tolerated. 

“Get back inside, Eustace,” you ordered.   
“Oh… Things just got interesting~” 

Eustace nodded and ran back inside and you opened fire at Hisoka. He seemingly disappeared causing your bullets to break the large glass wall. Hisoka didn't know he wouldn't be able to use his usual tricks since you could see in all directions at once. When trying to surprise you with an attack you avoided it as if it was expected. Hisoka perched on the balcony above the pool and looked down at you. You continued to point your guns at him. 

“We’ve never fought before yet you were able to anticipate my attack,” Hisoka observed. “You’re full of surprises…”   
“This is your last chance to leave the Bushbury property or you will be killed.”   
“Mhm… Don’t threaten me with a good time~” 

You readied your guns to shoot another barrage and before you knew it you were upside down. Bungee gum was attached to your leg turning you into a human yoyo. 

“You have sharp eyes but I bet even you didn't see this coming~”

Hisoka dangled you over the water, bouncing you up and down a few times, and then let go. You fell into the pool with a large splash. At this point, he was simply playing with you for his amusement. A moment passed as the water stilled again. To Hisoka’s surprise, you shot through the water nearly hitting him. A bullet landed just centimeters near his ear. Eventually, you ran out of bullets and out of air. You could only hold your breath for so long. Pulling yourself out of the pool Hisoka threw a card while still perched on the balcony. He aimed for your throat but the card was knocked away by another projectile. It was fast and familiar. 

Hisoka jumped down from the balcony and one of your fellow servants appeared in front of him. The servant opened his eyes revealing himself to be Illumi.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay?”   
“Yes, but you didn't say for how long… You have to be more specific~”   
“All I needed was five minutes.”  
“Well, why didn't you just say so~?”   
“I-Illumi?” you asked unsure. “Is that you?”

Illumi turned his attention to you and transformed back into himself. He was wearing the servant’s attire but it was him. He looked just a little different compared to when you last saw him. His hair was even longer and his features were more sharply defined. He was more mature. 

“Yeah,” Illumi said casually. “It’s me.”   
“Stand aside, I need to take care of this intruder.”  
“I need him and you wouldn't be able to anyway,” Illumi responded to you.  
“It’s true but I wouldn't mind playing with you for a little while longer,” Hisoka smirked. “Things were just starting to get fun~”   
“This one is mine,” Illumi sternly warned Hisoka. “Back off.”  
“Ooh… So protective~ But you didn't call dibs.”   
“I called dibs a long time ago.”   
“First of all, you can’t dibs me,” you interrupted. “Second of all, what the hell is going on?”   
“Give us a minute,” Illumi said to Hisoka.   
“Fine, but make it quick. I hate waiting…” 

Hisoka waved his wrist flippantly as he walked away as if nothing happened. You looked at him and then back at Illumi. You had to wonder if this was a friend of his. 

“Who was that?” you asked Illumi.  
“It doesn't matter. Focus on me.”   
“I don’t work for you anymore so you don’t get to make demands.”  
“I don’t have much time and I’d hate to waste my breath on him.”   
“Why did you go out of your way to come here, Illumi?”   
“I didn’t. This was on the way to our destination.”   
“That’s not what I meant.”  
“You’re asking why I’m here?”   
“Yes.”  
“Well, I’m going to have to do some things you won’t like. You better hope we’re successful or you will die.”  
“What do you mean?”   
“Kil has done something reckless that has put me, my family, and many other people at risk.”   
“What did he do?”   
“He ran off with Alluka and plans to use her power to make a demanding wish. You don’t need to know the details.”   
“And if he makes it we’ll die?”   
“If he makes it recklessly. Don’t worry, I won't let it happen.” 

It had been five years since you’ve seen Illumi and the fact that he was here now meant he hadn't forgotten about you. He cared about your wellbeing. He wanted to keep you alive but that still didn't answer why he made the effort to come. There was more to this. 

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?”   
“…”   
“I doubt you came just to tell me I could die.”   
“…”   
“You want something from me… What is it?” 

You waited for a response as Illumi casually tucked his hair behind his ear and then put his hand out to you. 

“Come with me.”   
“You need my assistance?”   
“I don’t need your help. I just want you close to me.”   
“I’m sorry Illumi, I can’t.”   
“Why?”   
“I have a job to do and a family to protect.”   
“So?”   
“They need me.”   
“So?”  
“I also made a promise to your father.”   
“So?”   
“So, I’m going to honor my word.” 

Illumi put his hand down and although he was a bit discouraged he didn't show it. He placed his hand on his hip instead. 

“Father doesn't always make the right decisions. He let Kil leave home and look what that’s done. I have no problem disobeying him when necessary.”   
“I’ve never heard you say something like that before.”   
“Well, It’s true.”   
“Don’t resent your father because of the decision he made.”   
“I don’t.”   
“Don’t resent me either…” 

Illumi looked away and you approached him putting a hand on the side of his face. You turned his face towards you again. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him. Even if he denied that he had feelings you knew that he did. He felt the same emotions everyone else did. He felt sadness, love, desire, and fear… He was just a master at concealing them. 

“I had to go and you have to go now too…”  
“I’m never too far away, you know.”   
“What do you mean?”  
“I’m always watching you.”   
“Huh?”   
“I could be the driver or the man in the park who feeds the birds. You’ll never know. Not unless I want you to know.”  
“That’s… A little creepy…”   
“…”  
“But coming from you I guess that means you must really love me…”   
“I do.”

That was the very first time Illumi verbally admitted he loved you. You never thought you’d hear him admit it. 

“You never said that before…”   
“I thought I made that pretty obvious.” 

His usual subtle sarcasm didn’t seem to ruin the moment. That response meant everything yet you couldn't form a sentence. Instead, you held his chin firmly as he did to you in the past and kissed him with authority. 

“Go,” you said releasing him. “Go do what you have to do.” 

Illumi was a little surprised you were so assertive with him. He would be lying if he said that didn't turn him on a little. If you two had more time together you could further explore that role reversal. One day maybe… But not today. There was too much to do. He gave you a curt nod and disappeared. 

“Demons I tell you…” An old woman’s voice said. “Two of them, I can feel it…” 

Grandma Bushbury’s eyesight wasn't the greatest so you were confident she didn't see Illumi. What she was feeling was the powerful and somewhat sinister Aura from those two. You felt it too. Illumi was even more powerful than he was years ago. 

“I assure you there are no demons, Madame.”   
“Little Eustace pissed himself… There's a mess in the hallway.”   
“I will change him and put him back to bed.”  
“Ahh... That’s what they want you to do… Then they’ll strike.” The old woman waved her cane around like a sword. “Come on out!”

You sighed and escorted the elderly actress back into the mansion. You found Eustace shaking with fear in his wet pajama pants. You kneeled down and put a hand on his head. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, Master Eustace.”   
“But—“  
“I took care of it,” you lied. “No more clowns.”   
“Really?”   
“I told you, I’ll always protect you.” 

Eustace hugged you and you picked him up carrying him to the bathroom so he could bathe and change. You still resented Illumi’s ‘friend’ for traumatizing the boy. Still, it was nice to see Illumi after all this time. You wondered what became of the Zoldyck family after you left. You knew they weren't your responsibility to worry about anymore but it was impossible to forget about them. 

Meanwhile, Hisoka was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed waiting for Illumi. He appeared seemingly out of nowhere and was wearing his clothes again. He gave Hisoka the signal to follow him. 

“Let’s go,” Illumi said.   
“Oh? Isn’t this supposed to be the part where the young lovers kill themselves in a selfish act of rebellion?”   
“I’m not that dramatic.”  
“Hmm… I like that ending better… More blood in that one. And who doesn't love a good tragedy~?”

Hisoka was smart enough to put the pieces together and figure out what you were to Illumi. It was just another thing to tease him with. Once again Illumi ignored him and left to do the job he needed to do. You weren't exactly sure what he planned to do but you were confident he would protect you and his family. Your only wish now was that he and Killua would see eye to eye one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd that's it! That's the story :) I'm incredibly humbled by the positive response that this fanfic received. This fanfic was written for my best friend and I'm glad you guys liked it as much as she did <3
> 
> You guys are so lovely, I appreciate all the comments, kudos, and views. 
> 
> For those who enjoy my work, there will be more stories to come! The next fanfic I'm going to work on will be an Erwin character study from the Attack on Titan fandom. If that's something you're interested in make sure you check it out. 
> 
> There are still some Hunter x Hunter characters I want to work on which I will do eventually. I've been pretty excited to do this Erwin fic for a while now. 
> 
> I do take requests so if you have a particular character or scenario in mind you can request it. Depending on what it is I might put it on my list and turn it into a story. 
> 
> Lastly, I know times are rough right now so I hope everyone is doing well. I'm still struggling to find a job but I'm keeping myself busy writing fanfics. You guys really do make my day. Stay safe!


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